Time flies when you're having fun

When all the big dates and events pop up in my life, a column is sure to follow. Skeptics would say it is because I am a cheapskate and writing sappy columns is a cheap gift, but, in truth, these columns are popular outside my household as well. I want to thank the nice people who say hello to us in the grocery store and say things like “ I read your columns all the time.” It makes us feel like Brangelina. Not as wealthy or glamorous, but still, thank you. Also, Ernest Hemingway once said that “good writing is true writing,” and when I open myself up to talk about my personal life, the truth, which we know is out there, gets delivered to the page.

Yesterday was my eighth wedding anniversary. There was no fancy dinner or expensive trip or gift to commemorate it. There are two kids under the age of five at my house, so there is no money or time for anything like that. Instead, we dropped the kids off with my sister and went out for a quick bite to eat at a place that didn’t hand out crayons when we walked through the door. Not having to pick up half-chewed meat that the baby threw to the floor was another big plus.

For the past week and a half, Sabine (that’s my wife’s name, in case you’re one of the new readers) has periodically let out a sigh and said “eight years.” I’m fairly certain it was in awe of how quickly time has passed and not a statement of someone looking at the next eight as more of an extended prison sentence. We’ve been married for eight years, together for nine and we’ve known each other for 22 years (I’ve told that story before and it’s somewhere on-line in the archives). It hasn’t ever been a struggle to remain married, although we have had our shares of highs and lows, and the time truly has flown by. Days fade into weeks which speedily march into months that seem to roll rapidly down a hill and grow into years. It feels like we said our “I do”s in a garden by a beach, got in the limo to go the reception and entered hyper-speed.

It has been a great ride, so far, and, like always, I can’t wait to see what lies ahead. Although it doesn’t always seem like it our lives have been full of adventures and challenges. Obviously raising children qualifies as a challenge, but we have always strived to try new things and get the most out of life. Of the many, many things I love about Sabine, her constant desire to try things and accept challenges has pushed me to do the same. Since our marriage, we got back into the arts for a time (the kids have currently put us on a bit of a hiatus), started finding ways to “go green,” become more politically aware and active, and take on large projects such as grad school (her) and writing novels (me). This summer, we even decided to go vegetarian for a month. That may not seem like such a big thing, but if you saw how much we used to spend at the grocery store on bacon, you’d know what a feat that was.

We try to set good examples for each other and our children and, if I do say so myself, we’re doing a fine job. The schedule can be a little hectic and not every day is sprinkled with fairy dust and gold, but our disagreements are civil and short-lived and our affection is genuine and constantly growing.

The other day we were looking at old pictures at my mother’s house and we came across photos from our wedding. I was thinner and Sabine, who was stunning that day, looks and weighs exactly the same as she did that day (That last sentence really has no bearing on anything, other than I’m sure she is glad I included it). I would imagine that what those two crazy lovebirds thought marriage would be like wouldn’t match the reality. It isn’t daily displays of fireworks or declarations of undying love, and the goo-goo eyes are, for the most part, a thing of the past. It is, however, the most amazing friendship I have ever had, combined with the strongest family bond I could imagine and moments of passion that still knock my socks off. It is a wonderful experience that I am glad to celebrate each day, week, month and year.

Here’s to eight years and 58 more. At least.