All right, all you women out there, I’m on to you now. You keep all the good stuff for yourselves.

While we Neanderthals are out chasing little white golf balls, sweating in the heat of the summer, you’re sitting in massaging chairs at the air-conditioned spa getting pedicures. Well, you can’t fool us anymore.

The pun is horrific, but I’ll write it anyway: Ferrell Mowell’s moving story is very moving.

On August 30, the old house in which he grew up was pushed, shoved, and pulled from its foundation on North Jeff Davis Dr., Fayetteville, to a rescued-house office park about a mile away on Ga. Highway 85 South. I hope you read Ferrell’s narrative.

I think it’s safe to say that I am now officially through with blind dates.

After all, I am usually the only one blind on the date because chances are that the other person has some kind of acquaintance with me through the media. It is, I have decided, an unfair advantage.

It was a tough loss to take. Our church, Christ the King, is still new to the world of local church league softball athletics. While we have fielded a few teams, we have never had a winning season. In fact, while we have consistently improved, we have been pretty much in the cellar at the end of every season.

She entered the glade riding in an open, horse-drawn carriage. With a light flick of the reins, the white palomino eight hands high turned and came to a stop with a stomp of its massive hooves – just 30 feet from the lucky attendees.

Grandparents’ Day?

I wouldn’t have thought of it had not the ladies at Curves invited all the grandmas in the place to bring pictures of their grandchildren.

So, this is how my first on-screen kiss came to be.

I was painting my kitchen cabinets, a task thrust upon on me because I could not adequately explain my vision of Country French distressed to others nor was I willing to pay the exorbitant price for their vision of what I knew was not what I wanted.

Five years later and no further attacks on U.S. soil. Who would have ever dreamed that, following the horrors inflicted on this nation on Sept. 11, 2001, we would experience five terror-free years?

It's a conspiracy against the American people, I tell you, a conspiracy plain and simple to keep us all fat.

It’s happening in some grocery stores around this state — right in front of the most helpless of us — our children. Yes, sir. It's true, and most of us are going about our daily lives, oblivious to the insidious goings-on around us.

Last week we visited the history of Haralson in Coweta County, and a little church there.

Over the years, as any homeowner knows, buildings need updating and expansion. The people of Mt. Pilgrim Lutheran added a fellowship hall, a kitchen, and restrooms. In recent years, central heat and air have been installed. Floors have been refurbished, a new roof put on, and a handicapped ramp built. Most striking to a visitor are the classic stained glass windows in each wall.

When I point out our obligation to present a united front to enemies of America, to withhold aid and comfort from them, to support our troops and our President in time of war, I hear different versions of “You don’t get it” along with claims to freedom of speech and even an obligation to oppose a president when we disagree.

Ever so often, life gives you magic.

That’s what happened to me when I met an important childhood hero.

Reg Murphy, one of the most esteemed newspaper men of the last half century, grew up in my hometown of Gainesville. Dreaming of being a journalist one day, I avidly followed his career. At the impressive age of 34, he became the editor of the influential Atlanta Constitution. Importantly, he had been the protege of the legendary editor Ralph McGill, who nurtured Murphy to become his successor.

I read in the paper that the old sanctuary of Sharpsburg Baptist Church has been demolished.

Portions of the building have stood since 1878 but, with the continuing deterioration of the building and with safety being a major factor, the congregation built a new building and, after valiant but unsuccessful efforts to save the old church, it finally was laid to rest.

It took seven years, but last week The Wife finally told me something I didn’t think I’d ever hear. No, she didn’t tell me to get out. It was something far worse.

I had yet to recover from being subjected to the ridiculousness of a New York City diner that sold out of grits two mornings in a row when I encountered a more traumatic travesty – a Southern town that sold out of buttermilk.

The beauty of living in Fayette County is that the county has one foot in the big city and the other in the country; one foot in the here and now, the other in the past.

A few weeks ago, our son reported that his air conditioner was on the fritz. At the time, the temperatures were in the high 90s and, with five small children, the conditions in the home were miserable.

Popeye once said, “I can stands so much, but I can’t stands no more!”

I felt the same way when I heard what coaches all over this county are doing to our kids. Believe it or not, they are forcing our kids ingest a chemical compound called dihydrogen monoxide.

On a mid-August Fox News Sunday TV program, Chris Wallace ended the show with a piece on a rehab center where our war casualties learn how to adapt to life with stark physical changes. Wallace didn’t find what he expected and he was clearly moved by the experience.

My friend and beloved diva, Pinky, found herself in the hospital requiring back surgery. After that ordeal, she was forced to go into a transitional care facility for physical therapy. One day while Dixie Dew and I were visiting her, she took up the subject of being kind to others.

Mary’s in the opera business, in case you came in late. She is a pianist for the Dortmund Opera in the Ruhr Valley of Germany. She’s been in Germany since 1984, thanks to winning Fulbright grants two years in a row, after which she was hired to accompany rehearsals and coach singers.

Several weeks ago, a University of Georgia student got into a dispute with two other customers over who was next in line at an Athens restaurant. The two customers were in a crowded line as they waited to order breakfast. When a cashier opened a new line and they stepped to the front, another customer nearby became angry. So she waited for the pair in the parking lot, and as the mother and daughter left the restaurant, the student pulled out of her parking place and struck both of them with the passenger side of her car. She was arrested later for allegedly running into the two customers.

I am coming up on several anniversaries in a couple of weeks that have special meaning for me. Anniversaries, of course, are those dates that we or society set aside to commemorate a significant event, whether joyous or tragic. Usually we pause, take a breath, and ponder a bit.

After moving into our new neighborhood, it has become painfully apparent to me that some people out there don’t like following the rules. For those people, I have a quick and easy solution for you: Move. The Hall Monitor has arrived, and he’s taking names.

Before I even returned from the six-week book tour that had pulled me from one side of the country to the other, I knew it wasn’t going to be a pretty sight.

It was the kind of faux pas you can’t believe actually happened.

I was accustomed to seeing John shopping at Kroger alone - it was an arrangement that worked for him and Betty. And when I saw him Wednesday morning, it was very easy to tell him he was looking good, because he was. He looked healthier and more cheerful than I’d seen him in ages.

The venerable old Episcopal Church in the United States of America (ECUSA) has fallen on some hard times. Of the nearly 30 U. S. denominations that bear the name “Episcopal” or “Anglican,” ECUSA is the oldest and largest of them all.

That’s right. There’s a thief amongst us. A low down, no account, dirty little thief. I know it’s hard to believe that someone would actually take something that doesn’t belong to him. But it’s true; it happened to me. Stupid thief — didn’t he know I’d write about it?

You see it on the news every day – celebrities and others with media access use their influence to promote causes they support. The idea is to sway public opinion.