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Billie Jo and Bubba talk about politics Billie Jo: Hey, Bubba, what do they do out there in the Georgia legislature? Bubba: You mean the Georgia General Assembly? Billie Jo: I guess so. Isn’t that where they make laws? Bubba: Yes, Billie Jo, and I’ve got a list of their latest ones right here. Billie Jo: You mean you’ve got a list of what they did in 2006? Bubba: Yeah, and I tell you, Billie Jo, it’s really impressive what these fellows can do. Billie Jo: I am eager to learn, Bubba. Please tell me more. Bubba: Well, I see they passed a law designating February 6 of each year as “Ronald Reagan Day” in Georgia. Billie Jo: What difference is that going to make? Are we gonna get the day off? We need to keep working and earn money for our retirement one day, you know. Bubba: I don’t know what difference it’s going to make. The law don’t say. But you can go read it in the Official Code of Georgia: it’s section 1-4-15. Billie Jo (snickering): Boy, I bet that’s going to make lawbook publishers real happy to have to reprint their lawbooks just to put that in, won’t it? Bubba: It’s OK, Billie Jo, we don’t buy them lawbooks. It’s the rich lawyers that will pay. Billie Jo: I don’t suppose that’s all people like our Dan Lakly did, is it? Bubba: Oh no, Billie Jo, they also made the fourth Monday in March of each year Prison Chaplains Appreciation Day. That’s code section 1-4-16. Billie Jo: Wow! That’s gonna be real helpful, won’t it? I mean it’s cheaper than giving them each a $25 gift certificate to Wal-Mart, so it helps the state budget. Bubba: I guess you have a point there, Billie Jo. I’ve always considered you pretty smart anyway. Billie Jo: I understand they have 40 days to make laws up there. Did they do anything else? Bubba: Sure enough, Billie Jo. One thing they did was to pass a law recognizing 2006 as the “Year of the Museum.” Billie Jo: Our place looks like a museum. Maybe that will help us. I mean, Ronald Reagan is dead, and we’re not in prison, so the chaplains thing won’t help us either. Bubba: I don’t see how that’s gonna help us, Billie Jo, but I can tell you the General Assembly revised the minimum pay salary schedule for sheriffs, tax commissioners, clerks of superior court, magistrates, and probate judges. Billie Jo: Bubba, do you think “revise” means they have increased salaries? Bubba: Billie Jo, I’ve always told you you were pretty smart. Funny thing is, I have never seen that mentioned in the newspapers and have never heard politicians boast about that. I am sure our legislators talk with their local sheriffs and these other people about these things. I hope they were thanked properly. Billie Jo: It seems to me the people to be thanked should be the taxpayers who foot the bill. Anyway, with an election coming some gratitude is sure to be expressed. Bubba: To show you how fair and hard-working these legislators really are, they passed a law allowing a magistrate to waive his or her minimum monthly salary and something they call contingent expenses. Billie Jo: Couldn’t a magistrate who didn’t want his money just turn around and write a check back to the State? What’s the point of that? Bubba: Now, now, Billie Jo, there are things in life that are pretty complicated. Say the fellow takes the money and turns around to give it back to the State. When he prepares his income tax return later in the year, he’ll have to pay income tax on that money even though he don’t have it. Them legislators are real fair, and they’ve got to fix things like this. Billie Jo: Anything else they did about other people’s pay? Bubba: Well, they raised the pay of district attorneys and their staff. That’s even more people they made grateful. It makes you wonder why these people don’t come out and express their thanks in public. Billie Jo: Maybe they do it in private. You know what I mean. Bubba: Billie Jo, sometimes I think you’re wicked. Sharp as a tack, I always say. Billie Jo: Well, I don’t want to be called the dullest knife in the drawer. I was just thinking about all these poor Delta people. They didn’t get a raise. They didn’t even get a Delta employees appreciation day, did they? Bubba: Maybe that will come later. Understand that they had a busy year, considering their year has 40 days. Why, did you know they changed the creel limit for tripletails? That’s at section 27-4-130.1. Billie Jo: Bubba, you got me on that one. I don’t even know what a creel is. I know that in the Gold Dome they have a calf with two heads, but tripletails is beyond me. Bubba: And now you can get a license to hunt deer with the use of dogs. That’s in section 27-3-17. I have always thought a gun worked better myself. Billie Jo: Did they do something for education? Bubba: Well, they passed a law requiring training for municipal court clerks. That’s section 36-32-13. Billie Jo: I thought all these people did was to take people’s money. The folks who work at Wal-Mart have to learn how to take checks, credit cards, debit cards and gift cards, but what do these people have to learn? They only take cash. Bubba: Billie Jo, you just don’t understand. When the judge wants to impose a fine of $100, there’s a bunch of surcharges for the pension plan of everybody in sight, the local jail, the brain-damaged people, and a whole slew of worthy causes. So the $100 turns into $200, and these clerks have to charge all that and send all these little bits of money to all the right funds. It takes training to do that, and to be quite frank some of these clerks need to be told not to put the money into their own pocket. Billie Jo: Look at that car over there, Bubba. Have you ever seen a tag like that? Bubba: There’s gonna be a lot more to get excited about, Billie Jo. Our legislators are giving us a whole slew of new tags to look at. There’s one supporting the Global War on Terrorism and Operation Enduring Freedom. If they write that on the tag, I bet you you’ll need a microscope to make out the small numbers on the tag. There’s another one supporting the Global War on Terrorism and Iraqi freedom. Tough choice there between these two. Billie Jo: But it’s so generous of our legislators to give us all these choices. Bubba: But that’s not all, Billie Jo. There’ll be a tag honoring the family members of service members who have been killed in action while serving in the armed forces of the United States, and it will be free for them. There will be another tag identifying persons with diabetes; one honoring veterans who have served in the armed services of the United States; and one honoring the Georgia Association of Realtors. Billie Jo: Wow! What if you’re a diabetic real estate agent who was once in the military? Think of all the choices. This is mind boggling. Bubba: And yet there’s another new law which requires a judge who might sentence them for speeding to tell them by how many miles they exceeded the speed limit. Billie Jo: Couldn’t they figure it out by subtracting the speed limit from the speed they were going at? Is the state going to provide judges calculators? You know these judges aren’t good at math. Bubba: Here’s that little negative streak of yours that’s showing up again, Billie Jo. You know we have an excellent education system. But I might tell you one new law provides for individual members of a local board of education to enroll in state insurance coverage where the local board of education has failed to remit payment for group coverage. Billie Jo: Wow! Tell me no more, please, Bubba. I am overwhelmed at the thoughtfulness of our state legislators. Such brilliant minds… Bubba: But that’s not all, Billie Jo. Our legislators realized we needed an official state cold water game fish. So they added code section 50-3-82 and (ta-daaaa) the Southern Appalachian brook trout was it. And we needed an official Georgia salt-water fish. Code section 50-3-83 designated the red drum as our official Georgia salt-water fish. Billie Jo: Bubba, you’ve told me tales like that for years. Didn’t the whole state government turn Republican last year? I thought only Democrats did things like that. Bubba: Billie Jo, I hate to tell you this, but this business about your being the sharpest knife in the drawer I might have to reconsider. mapleleaf's blog | login to post comments
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