Mr. Obama, A Few Suggestions If I Might Be So Bold

Realizing that you have at least another thirty-seven months of job security, would you mind taking a few suggestions from someone, like yourself, who has proven not to be as smart as once thought. Let’s face it; the previous eleven months have not included your finest hours.

First, push more and more responsibility to the Vice President who we all recognize as an idiot and then place the appropriate blame. After all, you can only be criticized for selecting him as a running mate and with him having ten times the Senatorial experience as yourself, what decent Democrat could openly be critical?

Next, let’s consider replacing the Homeland Security Director with someone a bit more knowledgeable about the day to day functions of terrorists and someone in whom you obviously have substantial trust and confidence-William ‘Bill’ Ayers. You could, say, make a speech to the Fraternal Order of Police Chapter in New York and all his previous indiscretions would be forgiven. I mean surely after thirty years and all you have done for unions, the lives of two policemen are not that big of a deal.

Then place the oversight of national healthcare under the purview of the First Lady whose talents and abilities far exceed anyone currently in Congress and surely she would be much more competent than a former governor of Kansas.

Finally, double the availability of the Congressional liquor so that we all might get a glimpse of our representatives ‘slurring’ in action. You might even consider placing an ‘open’ bar on both floors of Congress simply to cut down on the excessive travel expenditures they’re running up and take credit for reducing the size and scope of government before those nasty republicans take the credit away from you.

Mr. President I am simply trying to help and we both know that you realize that you’ve found yourself way over your head and the only way to save your ego will be to continue to deceive the American public. Who knows, you could surpass Jimmy Carter in significance.