Large Leaf Ivy

Phil Whitley's picture

Some of the comments I have received were from people who were raised north of the Mason-Dixon line. This is for them...

"There's a new guy moving in at the old Sikes place," my best friend, Jimmy, told me as we free-wheeled down Cabbage Patch Hill on our mostly homemade bikes. "He's got one o' those new trailer homes. Wanna go watch `im?"

"Sure," I said as we rounded the curve that led to the main crossroads and heart of Pine Mountain Valley, Georgia, home of both our families for at least three generations of very southern folk. "Are there any kids with `im?" New kids were always objects of interest to us.

"Nah, didn't see any kids. Not even a wife, I don't think," Jimmy said as we neared the scene of an elderly bald-headed man working on the awning of a really neat Airstream travel trailer. He was putting the wrought-iron looking supports up that would hold up the eight foot awning.

"Need any help, mister?' I asked him, really just wanting to find out more about him so we could tell our parents about 'the new guy'. Parents used their kids as spies in all circumstances like this, so they wouldn't be considered nosey. It was okay for kids to ask the really good questions like, "Where ya from? What's yer name? How long are you plannin' on stayin’?"—things like that.

"Well, my name is Howard, and I have recently retired. I am from New Jersey and I plan to live here a long, long time." Only he said, "New Joisey," and he talked really fast. Our "YANKEE" flags went up! Now our job was to get him talking so we could hear more of this strange new language.

We helped him for the rest of the afternoon, said goodbye at sundown and went home to submit our reports.

The following weekend I was headin' over to Jimmy’s house and saw Mr. Howard working around his porch again. This time he was down on his knees planting something at the base of the porch supports.

"Whatcha doin' Mr. Howard?" I asked as I leaned my bike against his mailbox.

"Planting Large Leaf Ivy." He said as he wiped the sweat from his face.

"Where'd you get it?" I inquired as I helped him push the dirt around the bulb of an all-too-familiar vine.

"Back there at the edge of the forest," he replied. "There’s lots of it back there. Want some to take home?" The word "forest" was another clue to his yankee-ness. We would have said "woods".

I carefully suppressed my grin and replied, "No thanks. We've already got lots of it." I watched him as he watered, then fertilized both plants at the two corners of his porch. I couldn't wait to tell my parents what I had seen and I had to leave before he asked me what the heck I was grinnin' about.

I felt kinda bad about two months later for not tellin' him what it was he had planted, because by then you could barely make out the outline of his trailer… beneath the canopy of Kudzu, the Large Leaf Ivy of the South!

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carbonunit52's picture
Submitted by carbonunit52 on Sat, 01/24/2009 - 10:25pm.

I was about 50 miles north of the Mason-Dixon, and up there we had to make due with honeysuckle vines, which made nice forts and hammocks, although they did not grow as quickly. The vine that we had the most fun with was the wild grape vine, which we made "monkey swings" out of, always on the side of a a steep hill. When they were first cut, they would hold up a car, but after they dried out eventually, someone would swing out and the thing would let go at the highest point. We probably wore out a legion of guardian angles on those alone.

"I can't wait until tomorrow, because I become more lovable every day."


Phil Whitley's picture
Submitted by Phil Whitley on Sat, 01/24/2009 - 10:58pm.

We had a huge grapevine down at the creek that we would swing out and drop into the deepest part. You're right, they don't last forever, and the inevitable always happens at the worst possible time.

Phil (friends call me Brew)
http://www.philwhitley.com


hutch866's picture
Submitted by hutch866 on Sat, 01/24/2009 - 8:57pm.

T could see where this was going long before you got there. When I was a kid we spent most of our time out in the woods and we had a section called the kudzu forest where we had some of the most cool little hideouts, just had to be careful of the snakes.

I yam what I yam....Popeye


Phil Whitley's picture
Submitted by Phil Whitley on Sat, 01/24/2009 - 10:54pm.

You're right about the snakes! Kudzu really does have some redeeming values... the Native Americans use it for making baskets and such. The tubers are considered to be a delicacy in China, but here they are up to 15 feet deep in red clay, and I haven't got THAT hungry... yet.

Phil (friends call me Brew)
http://www.philwhitley.com


Cyclist's picture
Submitted by Cyclist on Sat, 01/24/2009 - 11:06pm.

I thought kudzu was introduced in the 1930's for erosion control. But then what do I know; I'm from LA.
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Phil Whitley's picture
Submitted by Phil Whitley on Sat, 01/24/2009 - 11:34pm.

about kudzu being introduced in the 30's. I should have been more specific. The ancient Indians would have loved it though! I have gone to a couple of powwows where they were making and selling kudzu baskets, handbags and other stuff.

Curious... you said you were from LA... is that Los Angeles, Louisiana, or Lower Alabama? LOL

Phil (friends call me Brew)
http://www.philwhitley.com


carbonunit52's picture
Submitted by carbonunit52 on Sat, 01/24/2009 - 11:11pm.

Well now, the Native Americans know a good basket making material when they see it. Heck, it grows so fast you just sit there and pick what you will use in a day, and the next day you don't even have to move your basket making setup, because the kudzu will have grown right back so you can just reach out and pick a days worth again.

"I can't wait until tomorrow, because I become more lovable every day."


Phil Whitley's picture
Submitted by Phil Whitley on Sat, 01/24/2009 - 11:38pm.

I think I remember a sci-fi book about kudzu taking over the world... if not, it sure would make a good subject for a book or a movie - maybe more in the horror genre'.

Phil (friends call me Brew)
http://www.philwhitley.com


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