According to the Holy Book of Obama

Book of the Ascent to History

Chapter 7

The Media has turned.
7: 1 As Obama began to spread his word throughout the land, a Messenger arrived by the name of the Internet. The Messenger continually reminded the world that an evil had arisen throughout the land. This evil roamed about the land, walking about in the form of a Pit Bull, cutting and slashing Ear Marks wherever it laid it's eyes. It's gaze was fierce, penetrating into the soul of the big spenders who voted for bridges that went to nowhere. Their fear of this menace was magnified by the deep blood red and fiery lips that howled to the crowds, that change was certainly coming, and it wouldn't look pretty when she was done.

7:2 Spender's cried "foul," and begged for our Savior to speak. For only through the words of our Savior, can the light shine down upon this world. Obama stood before the ignorant masses, chiding them to worry not, for He was with them. He reminded them, that the Big "O" had foretold of his "One"ness, and that He was the "One" that we had all been waiting for.

7:3 The hush grew among the crowds, and they listened again for the words that might spew forth from their Messiah, which might stab the Pit Bull and render it asunder. "Help us, Oh, Obama, for we are in need of government programs and aid, for we can not do for ourselves. We need the government to take from the greedy and use that money to build sport's arenas, peace museums, and proverbial bridges that lead us to where we care not go."

7:4 Obama chided his disciples, "Fear not, for the Media and I, art with thee." The crowd grew silent and waited for His truth to ring through to their hearts of adoration. "We are the agent of change," He said, "and I fear not the rage of the pit bull, for she art but a swine dressed as a pit bull." Laughter sprang forth, for the masses knew of what He spoke. For they knew that the pit bull is but a swine, a slovenly deranged woman, who cares not for her children, who refuses to kill her own abnormal piglet, and who is from a far and desolate land in the cold far north. Obama's laughter rang from ear to ear, and they knew, that He had indeed slewed the beast from afar, and that all that was needed was for the disciples in the Media to spread the news of her demise.

7:5 But protestations began to grow. Naysayers and pundits began to blog, and blog fervently did they opine about the Messiah's words. "Say not that Thou woulds't call the Pit Bull with lips of fire a swine?" Obama stumbled back and wondered, "How could I be questioned about My words? For are thou not with Me?" The Media fell back and cried, "Oh Obama, did Thou not sayeth these words?" Obama grumbled, "Thou knoweth that I did." The bloggers then shouted from afar, "and did You not hear the laughter of Your disciples as You called her a swine?" Obama replied, "Of course, my disciples did hear Me correctly, . . . what be thy point? For this is but phony outrage. Art thou now the naysayers called 'swift boaters'?" . . . Then silence fell over the land. For the first time, the "swift boat" curse fell upon deaf ears, and His chorus of journalists did not follow suit.

7:6 The Messiah reminded his Media minions, that they had been chosen for this duty because of their loyalty. He had proven His worth by His Words, played to music for all to hear with "Will I Am" upon Youtube and that His words did cause them to tingle. They had proven themselves worthy, even when the Bride of the Messiah, did show her complete Disdain for the Kingdom, . . .for she was not proud. So how could they question their Messiah now, when He but calls the Pit Bull a swine?

7:7 This did not appease the bloggers, and neither did it appease the other pit bulls, many of whom are worshippers of Obama. Then again the blogosphere opened it's blogs and prodded Obama to answer to the charges that He had made such a pronouncement mere days after all of the internet had highlighted exactly upon the words of the pit bull and her lips of fire. "How could You not know of what and how Your immortal words could be understood?" they asked. Obama fired back, "Phony Outrage!, bring Me My disciples!" So He called forth Matthews and Olbermann from the world of MSNBC, a country from far to the left of the Righteous Mountains of Truth. These mortals have faithfully interpreted Obama's words so wonderfully and with nuisance, --especially when Obama spoke from without a prompter of his written word.

7:8 But then nothing happened. Time seemed to stand still. No tingling feeling came up their spines, for they knew that their Messiah had again been attacked and they could not understand why He would have said such things. True, His words were not written for Him such as to allow Him to read their words, but again, these were words that came from His lips, His words, His thoughts, His judgment chose these words, but why? For why would He say such a thing if not to smite the Pit Bull? For why would He do so without the foreknowledge that His sword would be broken upon the harsh ground of context. Instead, they shied away, grumbling that neither did they know why He would say such words, or even why He would attack the Pit Bull, when the "Anti-Obama McCain" was His true enemy. Instead, they chided the Media to ignore such politics of negativity, and prayed that these words would not resonate with the world.

7:9 And yea, thou the Media continued to swirl about the Messiah waiting for His spoken word, the luster and glow of His face, the Halo about His head, the command of His voice began to lose it's effect. And they did open their eyes and proclaimed, what have we been doing these last months in recording our Messiah's orders? Can it be that He is not the "One?"

7:10 And so it had begun, the date when the Pit Bull with fiery lips from the North Slopes, did open the eyes of the Media, and began a new Campaign toward His own demise.

7:11 For as it is written, He who hails to be the King, even in dire times and financial hardships of the people, must first be able to withstand the weapons of truth that fight their way through the filters of the Media, for the people are still looking and yearning for authenticity and character.

7:12 Then a voice from the gipper of old rang out, "Our government has no power except that which is given to it by its people. But if no one among us, is capable of governing himself, then who among us, has the capacity to govern someone else? It is time for us to realize that we are not a Nation which should limit ourselves to small dreams. Can we solve the problems that confront us? I can emphatically say, "Yes, we can!"

7:13 And the days were then counted until the 2nd Tuesday after the 1st Monday of the 11th Month, in which the masses opened their eyes, and saw the truth. They were revived, and not a moment too late. And the invigorated peoples of the Kingdom, did yearn to go and to cast their voices with the Pit Bull with Fiery Lips and the silent hero, called McCain.

Amen