Why Europe, China, England, & Arabs wonder!
I never hear anything coming out of the above listed places on earth similar to our daily news here in the good old USA!
Can you imagine what they think reading this:
Pastor/Archbishop/Dr./Most High Esteemed
One, Throckmorton B. Sabine, and Priestess/Lady/Wondrous B. Sabine, have opened the Glorious High Evangelical Independent Church of the Bible in the old pig warehouse on Furness Street.
The Sabines are new to the area, having been washed out of their last parish. Dr. Sabine travels in one of several personally owned twin-jets, supplied by private donations, so that he can have services here and in New york City every week. The Priestess will live on Madison Avenue in NYC to take care of the NY business.
A new 6000 foot runway is being laid down about a mile from the new church. Jobs are available there for new members.
We have payroll deductions!
The grand opening will be all of December, and you will be the first and maybe the last group to be able to join the limited initial membership into this grand church. Everyone is welcome at the church, but grand members are sanctified members, guaranteed, and have assigned seats. $5,000 initial membership fee, $500/ month does it all!
You would be amazed at what we plan for you (members).
Dress can be regularly funk, long tee shirts, formals, very large hats, dirty overalls, and motorcycle paraphernalia. "Rednecks" are welcome with gun racks. No drinking in the church.
Our assistant pastor is either my nephew or my son---I am not totally sure, and will be inheriting the whole thing someday, so don't worry if my jet crashes.
You eventually will be honored guests at our "Colonial USA" retreat that we intend to build for our grand members.
Cost without membership $200 per day; cost with member ship $500 per day but includes special treatment.
Call for an appointment as we want to avoid people getting crushed at the door.
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