Illegals

How does a politician stay on both sides of the illegal Mexican border incidents, illegal Mexicans and others coming across into the USA, and keep from sounding foolish?
I have evaluated the talks by these people and I still can't tell.
Here is one example of such talk:
President Fogbottom: First, we must build a fence, you know, like Australia does for Roos, and seal the border with duct tape if necessary. However, but, wait a minute though, consider the cucumbers and string beans first. They must be picked before they ruin by workers who will do what we Americans won't do. We have just never got hungry enough (isn't Hungary a country?).
Next day---I intend to see that a bill passes my desk this year to stop all of this illegal immigration. It will say that we intend to sign up 40 million current illegals and issue them temporary licenses to work on cucumbers and other stuff, particulary roof and yards, and then they will be in line to get membership into our great society and begin to pay taxes. They wil be in line however "behind" all those other 40 million already signed up legally to come here. Their names along with their families should come up in about 35 years if everything goes well.
We won't mess with companies who hire illegals right now, because companies don't know how to do such paperwork. They are all temps anyway and aren't on the payroll for SS purposes and vacations and such, you know. Too much of a mess for companies.
Catch and release of old is over, as I said before. If you are from Guataveneuisla, El Solomoms, Brasintina, or some of those other hard to say names down further south than Texas, we won't even catch you, must less release you. Needed badly as cab drivers, and such, and they do have the ability to sleep 24 to a room by taking turns of 6 hours each in the same bed. Gets them out from under bridges. They don't eat much either.
I repeat: I'm agin illegals, especially them what ain't here yet. Them that are, now thats a difernt story which we are addressing.
So when you vote next time remember that we are agin whut you are agin, no matter what thet is.

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Illegals TWO
Submitted by dollaradayandfound on Thu, 05/17/2007 - 6:28pm.

When I wrote the above several weeks ago, I really didn't expect a new law as was passed today.
I may be mistaken, but here it is I think:
If you want to be legal in the USA, then sign up somewhere (we will let you know) and we will give a half million of you a temporary permit to work here (lasts 8 years) and the other 29 million and a half need to go bck to Mexico and get in line behind the other 30 million there who want to come here.
Now, the half million we issue the permits to, when they can gather up enough money to pay a fine and costs, will be allowed to go back to their country (I don't think we are going to fly or bus them) also get in line there in their country, and wait.
Also, even if you are allowed to get a card, your sisters, brothers, Mom and Dad, uncles, aunts, and cousins can not come here. Nor your wife. Nor your children, especially your children!
What will happen at the Ellis Island of Texas or Arizona or California, is that you will be tested as to your English speaking and writing ability, and of course head lice, just as we did at Ellis Island---and of course leprosy. It is not determined as yet whether or not you will be eligible for Welfare, health care, and schooling---don't bring your kids by the way.
You will be tattooed in Texas, etc., with a number on your wrist for i.d. purposes and entered into a computer, along with an eye scan.
A stoop test, and a high dizziness test will be given for roof installations.
I havent seen the other 999 pages of the law yet, but I think it is complicated.
Oh, the wall will continue to be built but at 13 feet instead of 12 feet high, so that 12 foot ladders won't reach. A new chemical (secret) will be secreted into the ground about 12 feet deep all around the wall to discourage tunnels. All boats on the gulf of Mexico will be sunk by the Coast Guard unless they turn back, just as we do for Haiti, and Cuba.
Canada is ok. It will be another fifty years before we can wall off Canada, etc.
Maybe if we can start about two more wars in the land of the terrorists, we can keep them busy until we have everything ready here.

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$: it hasn't passed yet
bad_ptc's picture
Submitted by bad_ptc on Thu, 05/17/2007 - 6:41pm.

"Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid said the proposal was a "starting point," but that he had "serious concerns" about some aspects of the plan, including the structure of the temporary worker program and undue limitations on family immigration."

"We need to improve the bill as it moves through the legislative process," he said."


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More on Illegals
Submitted by dollaradayandfound on Tue, 04/10/2007 - 7:22am.

Yesterday the President proposed that if illegals paid a $10,000 fine they could stay here on a work permit.
The illegal labor lobby immediately wanted to revise the law to allow $5.00 payments per week, on the $10,000, financed by the payday loan people at 48% interest over 75 years. House roofers and cucumber picking owners would be responsible for forwaring the $5 every week to the treasury, after deducting expenses of course for the collection.
Of course, congress will reduce the fine to one more likely to be collected, say $10 per month, or $.10 per bushel, whichever is greater. To be sent in voluntarily, after deducting health insurance.

Sounds like a plan! We won't need the fence.

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The Mayflowerist
DragNet's picture
Submitted by DragNet on Mon, 04/09/2007 - 6:51pm.

Come to think that those in the Mayflower were all illegals (no visas) and undocumented (no passports). According to Tancredo's logic, Native Americans should be able to round all of us from European roots and send us back to Europe.
What's the big deal with illegals? Is it that they work like hell and take on jobs we consider "unworthy"? We despise them, but at the same time we accept their subsidy to our economy and pockets(cheap houses, cheap landscaping, cheap nannies, cheap care of those dying in the hospices, cheap groceries, etc, etc).
Shame on those who benefit from this modern slavery and have the nerve to call for their demise.

-----------------------------------
Making you think twice......


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Drag: europeans only?
Submitted by dollaradayandfound on Tue, 04/10/2007 - 7:27am.

Are you suggesting that Africans, Asians, and Middle Easterners would be allowed to stay by the American Indians? Now that is profiling!
I think what we now want is cheap labor and no Mexicans. Didn't we try that for a long time before the Civil War ended?

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