Look, I hate to beat a dead horse here but what the heck does "The Abu Ghraib guys found beating with large diameter water hoses left the fewest marks on the outside but would break bones." have to do with this blog??

This is what I have tried to explain to dollaraday in past posts - everything he writes comes out Police, minorities, Iraq, Bush, Abu Ghraib or some random disconnected rant that is entirely off topic.

PLEASE, have your medications checked Dollaraday ....you are completely out of balance!

For the poor blogger who asked the original question: No, it is not against the law to spank a child in Fayette County. This county has the same laws as the other 158 in Georgia in that regard.

You know exactly what I meant! There are too many nutty parents around to allow any of them to decide what "spanking" is.
Talk to a few emergency room doctors and you will be amazed. I assume you spanked yours and how did that turn out?

And my daughters fully understand that fact. Because of that I now have to merely give them "the look" to get the desired results. They have a choice.... We can do this the hard way or we can do this the easy way. They now choose wisely and do it the easy way.

Makes for great peace in the household when this is understood. Unlike friends of ours whose kids get the timeout treatment and give their parents "the look" when asked to be obedient.

As for me and my household we choose spanking when necessary. Now let me remember.....when was the last time I had to do that?????

Several months ago, a young girl from Fayetteville decided to steal a car (maybe relatives, don’t remember all the details) and ventured off to Panama City. Police were called in to search for her..etc..

If she were my child, her bottom would still be sore! And I would have made sure that everyone (her friends) were made aware of the punishment she received for her actions.

Actually speaking, my teenage children would (never did) never have done such an act…because by the teenage years they would have experienced the punishment by then and would have learned their lessons.

Its time for parents to stop treating their kids as their “friends”. The problem today is both parents work to be able to afford the 2 or 3 cars, big house, plasma TV’s, etc…so they feel guilty punishing the little darlings…because they don’t see them that often.

I guess it is Ok for your kids not to be your friend. I think I know what you meant to say, but didn't. You can whip your kids but not your friends.
It is a different world than when I grew up some 70 years ago. Kids are now much more learned and able to be more independent of actions. They also don't use the common sense of their parents but of their peers.
Also, kids now don't hide nearly as much from their parents as they did when I was young. Mainly the parents of old did not want to hear about anything unusual, and especially didn't want to be embarrased by friends finding out. People got churched due to a daughter getting pregnant, or a son caught drinking.
Many left home at 14-16, never to return due to ignorance of the parents and the kids.
I also remember some kids were encouraged to lie, cheat, steal, bully, and hurt others to cover up ignorance. It still happens.
Today is different. Parents and kids are exposed to much, much more of the world at a much earlier age.
I just don't see "whipping" as anything but revenge for aggravation, and it solves nothing in the long run. Guidance and patience work better.

The kids don't hide from their parents, they sneer, and cuss them as they drive down the cart paths. You routinly hear about how stupid their parents are for trusting them. They don't hide from their parents because they(the teens) know they are in charge. I hear it dailey on the paths how "stupid" their so and so parents are because they have no idea where they are, or what they are up to.
You may think you are being smart by trusting your kids(and being their friends) but...

Not a day goes by, even if I'm traveling, that I don't talk with my kids.

I know exactly what's going on with them because I talk with them not to them.

I've learned over the years that about 80% of what they say is background for the other 20% that's important. It takes a while but I can usually put the pieces together and in the end I have a better understanding of what's going on in their lives.

Another thing I insist on is having dinner together ever night as a family. I don't allow them to just "heat something up" and sit and eat in front of the idiot box. We all sit at the table and eat dinner together as a family.

By the way, I do almost all the cooking. I'm actually starting to get fairly good at it.

Add to that I receive and send emails to their teachers several times a week so I know whats happening at school. The teachers need to be thanked, a lot, for the time they take communicating with the parents.

My kids aren't angles, but for the most part they do the right thing for the right reasons.

Because good grades and good behavior get rewarded often, they've figured out quickly that doing things my way works to their advantage.

Granted, a lot of family's don't have it as good as we do, but I think of my kids as an investment in my future and I guard that investment as best I can.

Once you make the decision to have children, nothing else matters but them. Not you, your job, the house, or the kind of car you drive.

It's an investment of some 20+ years, there is no end actually, and the rewards will just keep on coming.

With Christmas just a day away, there's nothing like being with my kids.

Now if I could just get rid of that "boyfriend" without getting caught.

Another thing I insist on is having dinner together ever night as a family. I don't allow them to just "heat something up" and sit and eat in front of the idiot box. We all sit at the table and eat dinner together as a family.

Bad_ptc, I whole-heartedly agree. When I was a teen, my parents required us to limit the afterschool activities that happened between 6 and 7pm. They believed that the daily family meal was sacrosanct; my mom even went so far as to think poorly of people who scheduled things during that hour ("if they don't respect our family, God only knows about the state of theirs.").

While I think there is a razor fine line that parents must walk in talking with their children so as not to allow them to believe that they are your equal, I do believe that parental success starts and ends with regular, meaningful contact. And that cannot happen when parents are more absorbed in the pursuit of things than they are in being involved with their kids.

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If you and I are always in agreement, one of us is likely armed and dangerous.

swmbo beat me to it.

Family dinner is in danger if extinction, but it is indeed an important way of calling the family together on a regular basis and reminding everyone that we are a family and not just a bunch of people who happen to live under the same roof.

I think I understand your point about talking with your kids. It tells them that their ideas and feelings are important and that you do not view yourself as thundering down from atop Mt. Sinai.
The thing is to maintain parental authority while assuring them that you always have their interests in mind. If you have laid this foundation solidly, then they will not really doubt this (despite what they may say as teens) even when some form of negative discipline is called for.

The most successful family man I ever knew once said, "The most important thing that a man can do for his children is to love their mother." His point was that the integrity of the family as a whole begins with the integrity of the marriage.

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My grandson at 22 weeks via live 3D ultrasound