Wednesday, June 19, 2002

Mother Goose does Fayette

By BILLY MURPHY
Laugh Lines

If Mother Goose had lived in Fayette County, these might be the rhymes they teach in schools today:

Little men in blue come, blow your horn!

Turn on your siren, the motorists to warn.

Pull them all over on Highway 74.

Write them a ticket so,

they speed no more.

Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake, Huddle House cook,

Make me a waffle and don't overlook

The bacon and hashbrowns and add syrup real nasty,

And come visit me when I'm having angioplasty.

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick.

Jack, warm up before you jump that candle stick.

Don't you know you could pull a muscle!

To Kroger, to Kroger, to get us some food,

Lost my wife and kids among the multitude.

To Kroger, to Kroger, just to get some taters,

Home again, home again, it's two hours later.

Georgy Porgy, pudding pie,

Kissed the girls and made them cry.

Poor little Georgy if only he'd known

Eckerd sells Scope, as well as cologne.

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall,

Humpty Dumpty started to fall;

But the Planning Commission,

Wouldn't grant him permission,

So, Humpty just went to the mall.

Little Miss Boomer,

Born the consumer

Drove her SUV,

Just leaving home.

The traffic was backed up,

As she put on her makeup,

And dialed her cellular phone.

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