Wednesday, June 12, 2002
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Wednesday, June 12, 2002 |
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21st Century Man is Woman By BILLY MURPHY
We've lived in the new millennium long enough to make some determinations, and the most significant event to realize: Woman has become man. I first noticed this when arriving at a get-together at my mother-in-law's house. As my family coincidently drove up at the same time as other family members, I realized, like me, my wife's brother was sitting in the passenger seat of their minivan. He and I were both passengers. Our wives were driving. The act of driving, long a metaphor for gender balance (or imbalance) is only one example of the shift in tides (or gears, as it were). Tracing the time line of the last century, one can see that the automobile has always been a prime example of male domination. Once, only men drove. Then slowly men gave over the wheel. Then women actually started to acquire cars of their own. Today, women typically hold the keys to the newest, most authoritative and most expensive of vehicles on the road. Where men now ride, women drive. I only notice this, as I all too often sit in traffic in my late-model Dodge Neon, looking upward into a wall of cell-phone-adorned feminine SUVs. Much more has been given over to the fairer sex too. Cursing was once the sole property of man. The choice use of foul, inappropriate language was once a mainstay of manhood. Thankfully, over the years as men have softened, so has our language. But over the years as man has slowed in the fast lane of four-letter words, woman has passed by on the shoulder, blowing the horn, tooting, and throwing in an obscene gesture for good measure. The entertainment media, being what it is, is rife with current examples of 21st Century Female Man. In the recent film "Panic Room," Jodie Foster matches wits and brawn with three male criminals while her ex-husband spends most of the movie and all of his time onscreen sitting in a chair, bloodied and impotent to do much more than moan. In the Emmy- and Golden Globe-winning HBO series "Six Feet Under," Rachel Griffiths' character keeps her man subservient with constant insults and put-downs only to hop into bed and ask him quite seriously, "Will you be my wife?" He happily accepts her proposal. And he seems to be the only non-gay man on the show. Even simple sit-coms like "Everyone Loves Raymond," "Friends" and "The King of Queens," feature their male characters only pretending to be in charge while the women that surround them rule. To watch "Just Shoot Me" means you see minuscule male Finch whine and hiss while Nina Van Horn struts her sexual conquests in a way that would make Alex DeLarge from "A Clockwork Orange" jealous. One can only imagine what it will be like when the Power Puff girls grow up. Women have sacked many more male-oriented institutions too. More women get tatoos today than men, another male-only tradition just a few decades ago. In the past 100 years, women have progressed from cutting their hair like men, wearing pants like men and, like men, even start competing for the same dating pool. The last bastion of manhood might only be the TV remote control. But then again, men need it, sitting home alone every Saturday night during "Ladies Night Out." Where we once had a nation of sympathy for Debbie Reynolds because of what that cad Eddie Fisher did, now we have a whole country feeling sorry for Justin Timberlake because of that scad Britney Spears. So where does this leave men? I'm not sure: I haven't found any brave enough to talk.
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