Wednesday, March 20, 2002
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Wednesday, March 20, 2002 |
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O, the joys of car tripping By BILLY MURPHY "Are we there yet?" "Mom, Debbie's kicking me!" "Dad, Billy's head is stuck under the seat again!" How many times have we heard these statements while traveling? As spring vacation approaches, I want to honor the most dreaded of family institutions the car trip. We all love our children, but is there a more taxing situation among us than riding long distances in the car together? While heading to Disneyworld or the grandparents, have you ever wanted one of those Plexiglass dividers like the taxis have between you and your kids in the back? No matter how fussy they got, all nice and quiet up in the front. When I was growing up, making all the noise, my dad had that rubber elbow thing going, where, if you were acting up, he could swing his arm back and reach you, no matter where you were in the backseat. He could drive blindly in a Chicago snowstorm, skidding on ice and still reach back, find my leg and give me a pinch that could make me recite the Gettysburg Address in Japanese. Hoo-chi-mamma. It makes me wonder how bad it must have been during the days of traveling in wagon trains. Ma and Pa riding up front, swaying side to side, lurching up and down over bumps and any settlers that died from rattlesnake bites. The 14 kids would be in the back fighting over beef jerky and who was missing the most teeth. When dad got tired of all the bickering in the back, he would just put down his musket, pull out his horse whip and crack it across the whole bunch. Could you imagine traveling only 25 miles a day for six months? None of us have ever left for a trip in the winter and not gotten there until the fall. And just think how mad dad would be at mom when they had already made it from North Carolina to Kentucky before she said they had to turn back because she thought she left the iron turned on. It had to be hard, too, when dad wouldn't stop for directions and wound up in Canada when he was shooting for California. Though not quite as bad, I lived through the family car trips without air conditioning. Seven us in a small Rambler American that quickly started to smell like stale vegetable soup. One kid would always travel in the front between my parents while the other four in the back would try to play "Travel Twister." Like everything else these days, we have it all the more convenient, yet we probably gripe the most. It's pretty rare that we would leave on a trip and before we got there, we had lost a few kids to the black plague or scarlet fever. So as you travel this spring break, or anytime actually, plan ahead for this time-honored tradition. Bring the travel Yahtzee, load up the snacks, love your kids and if things still get bad, look out your windows and just feel a kinship with all the other families stuck together, traveling too. [Visit Billy Murphy on the Internet at http://ebilly.net.]
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