Wednesday, February 20, 2002
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Wednesday, February 20, 2002 |
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We men need a Feb. 15 holiday By BILLY MURPHEY It's time for some man holidays, and the time after Valentine's Day would be it. Whereby the weeks leading up to Feb. 14 rest solidly at the top of the romance almanac, the days after are reserved for half-priced candy, battered, passed-over love cards and glaring, languid looks from wives and girlfriends towards their men who simply "forgot." So let's just make Feb. 15 into a man's holiday for the men who weren't romantic enough. I tend to believe Ernest Lawrence Thayer wrote "Casey at the Bat" on Feb. 15. And the story isn't about baseball at all; consider the last stanza ... "Oh, somewhere in this favoured land the sun is shining bright, The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light; And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout, But there is no joy in Mudville mighty Casey has struck out." Forget baseball, Casey forgot Valentine's Day. If I were to approach the National Council of Holiday Pickers with a recommended new day of observance, none would be better suited than Feb. 15, and I would call it "Never Too Late Day." This day would be used to inspire and lift countless men to carry on, to rise from their considerable flaws and failures, to overcome burned dinners, scorched dress shirts and dental floss that suddenly, suspiciously tastes like underarm deodorant. When is "Too Late" anyway? Is there ever a way back? Is "Too Late" always a finality? Like Death, or the cancelation of any sitcom staring a former Seinfeld star? Can we put that olive back in the jar? And is the only answer always begging, pleading and groveling? In regards to a missed Valentine's Day I admonish men to take an active path. On Feb. 15, bring home some of that great, discounted Eckerd chocolate, and do it with a smile. When your wife or girlfriend is non-receptive and says you are too late, simply remind her, you are actually early 364 days early for next year's Valentine's Day. And tell her, if she had such a great memory, she would recall that you gave her this year's Valentine's present 364 days early last year, too. We have all heard the motivational stories, how it is never too late. Colonel Sanders founded Kentucky Fried Chicken after age 65. Sam Walton financed his house at the age of 43 to start the first Wal-Mart. "Chicken Soup for the Soul" was rejected by over 33 publishers. Tony Randall had a baby at 80. Cindy Crawford once wore a size 5. The list goes on and on. Yet, can a man come back from missing Valentine's Day? Can we, the male species, reap forgiveness from such a travesty? I can only offer a simple nursery rhyme: "All the kings horses and all the kings men, couldn't put Humpty back together again." So, men, we're just left with the next 364 and a quarter days, to show our love, prove we care and beg, plead and grovel. [Visit Billy Murphy on the Internet at www.ebilly.net.]
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