Thank you, Mark Alexander, for highlighting the problems perpetrated by Middle Eastern Islamist males between the ages of 17 and 40 and simplifying how profiling will snuff out the problem (“Anyone for Terrorist Profiling?” 8/23/06, The Citizen).

Your multiple choice test was a bit tricky, but without too much cheating, I was able to ferret out the answers. Now I have an analogous test for you:

• In 1963 John Kennedy was killed by: (a) A Middle Eastern Islamist male between the ages of 17 and 40 (b) A white guy with a gun.

• In 1981 President Reagan was shot by: (a) A Middle Eastern Islamist male between the ages of 17 and 40 (b) A white guy with a gun.

• Presidents Lincoln, Garfield, and McKinley were assassinated by: (a) Middle Eastern Islamist males between the ages of 17 and 40 (b) White guys with guns.

• From 1978 until 1995 the Unabomber killed 3 and wounded 29. The Unabomber was: (a) A Middle Eastern Islamist male between the ages of 17 and 40 (b) A white guy with a bomb.

• The Olympic Park and abortion clinics bomber was: (a) A Middle Eastern Islamist male between the ages of 17 and 40 (b) A white guy with a bomb.

• The religious zealots who led disastrous cults in Guyana and Waco, Texas were: (a) Middle Eastern Islamist males between the ages of 17 and 40 (b) White guys with Bibles.

• The television evangelist who cheated on his wife, paid to cover it up, and was convicted of fraud, tax evasion, and racketeering was: (a) A Middle Eastern Islamist male between the ages of 17 and 40 (b) A white guy with a Bible.

• The CEOs who fraudulently stole billions of dollars from Enron and Health South and left thousands of investors in the lurch were: (a) Middle Eastern Islamist males between the ages of 17 and 40 (b) White guys with corner offices.

• In 1999 Columbine High School was shot up by: (a) Middle Eastern Islamist males between the ages of 17 and 40 (b) White kids with guns.

• Earlier this month the student arrested at Whitewater High School for bringing weapons to school was: (a) A Middle Eastern Islamist male between the ages of 17 and 40 (b) A white kid with guns.

• The President who lied about sexual relations with an intern was: (a) A Middle Eastern Islamist male between the ages of 17 and 40 (b) A white guy with his pants around his ankles.

• The second-rate burglars who broke into the Watergate Building and subsequently tried to cover it up were: (a) Middle Eastern Islamist males between the ages of 17 and 40 (b) White guys with important friends.

• The President who lied about the Gulf of Tonkin incident and started a war which claimed the lives of over 57,000 brave Americans was: (a) A Middle Eastern Islamist male between the ages of 17 and 40 (b) A white guy with an army.

• The President who lied about weapons of mass destruction in Iraq and started a war which has claimed the lives of 2,500 (and counting) brave Americans was: (a) A Middle Eastern Islamist male between the ages of 17 and 40 (b) A white guy with an army.

Of course I could go on, but, as you can plainly see, a definite pattern has emerged.

Using the clear logic that Mr. Alexander and I have so eruditely proffered, we can safely assume that profiling criminals is the most economical use of law enforcement energies.

At the airport, Middle Eastern Islamist males between the ages of 17 and 40 must certainly be profiled to prevent terror. In all other walks of life, white guys should be highly scrutinized.

Who knew that protecting our citizenry could be so simple? Round up the usual suspects!

Dave Aycock
Fayetteville, Ga.