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Why people break vows Recently, I wrote an article about the sacred vows that many ministers make at their ordination to the ministry or to the priesthood. I remarked that, all too often, those vows get broken. Why do people break their vows? It is painfully obvious that people do, indeed, break their vows, even those that we deem “sacred vows.” Why is this? Why do clergy jettison their sacred promises made before an altar in the “presence of God and witnesses”? Certainly, most clergy are honorable and keep the vows they have made; else all in the church world would be chaos. Yet, enough do betray their vows that much discord and pain is experienced. After 35 years of ministry and working with congregations and clergy, I believe there are three primary reasons why men and women of God betray their vows: 1. Disappointment. A minister may become disillusioned about his/her congregation or the denominational structure or hierarchy. Bishops and other denominational officials are imperfect and those who are not prepared to accept the flaws are likely to lose heart. It is a fact that God calls flawed people to do his work. It has always been so. Deacons, priests, pastors, and bishops can be just as small and petty as the next person. If clergy do not come to grips with this reality and accept it, disappointments may set in. There may also be unrealized expectations that lead to disappointment. Perhaps a person feels that his career path will take a certain route but when it does not or it is slow in coming, resentment may set in and lead the person to violate his vows. Certainly, church members by the millions leave churches each year, violating whatever membership vows they may have taken, because the pastor or board or congregation disappointed them. Clergy also leave because the congregation, the officials, or the denomination, in their mind, didn’t live up to perceived or inferred promises. 2. Ambition. A certain amount of ambition is a good thing. Jesus did not discourage people who wanted to be “great.” He did, however, teach that this was achieved by becoming a “servant of all.” Selfish ambition, however, is a diabolical motivation that drives people to do things that benefit themselves without thought or care of the harm done to others. I knew a man who was continually critical of his bishop, calling him names behind his back, casting doubts upon his calling and abilities, and questioning every decision the man made. Shortly after he left the denomination in anger, he located a tiny denomination that made him a bishop. Suddenly, all became clear. Apparently, the man believed that HE should be the bishop and, upon deserting his denomination, shopped around until he found someone to declare him such. In our communion we call this “purple shirt fever” (our bishops wear purple clergy shirts). Selfish ambition and rebellion go hand in hand. When Benedict Arnold wasn’t revered by the Colonial Army as he thought he warranted, he switched sides hoping to find better treatment and greater respect from the British. 3. Pressure. Sometimes the pressure is from family or friends who feel that better treatment will be received elsewhere. “They just don’t appreciate you and your talents,” they may say. The temptation is to seek greener fields. Friends will often persuade others to join them in some illicit adventure. “We’re unhappy in our church/denomination! You should be too! Come with us in our rebellion.” They don’t say that but it’s what they mean. In the Iraqi prison scandal, someone, somewhere first came up with the idea to mistreat prisoners. Others were enlisted or convinced to participate in actions that landed many of them in a military stockade. Corrupt cops may attempt to influence other officers to go “on the take.” Financial pressure has tempted many a man to become a spy or a traitor. The promise of easy gain has tempted police officers to “look the other way” in communities both great and small. Pressure from friends, family, or even superiors can persuade otherwise honorable pastors to commit dishonorable acts. While these are reasons some people betray their vows and break their promises, they are not excuses. Throughout history, both secular and sacred, vows and promises have been taken seriously. One who makes a vow to give truthful testimony in a court proceeding and then fails to do so may be charged with a crime and incarcerated. Soldiers who betray their vows may be executed, police officers may be stripped of their responsibilities and fired or jailed, spouses may be divorced, and clergy who betray or violate their sacred vows may be defrocked or even excommunicated. As human history demonstrates, a person known as a “Benedict Arnold” or a “Judas” is a person held in contempt by society. Keeping one’s vows is a matter of honor, of integrity, of character. A person who keeps vows is known as a faithful individual. It is the vow-breaker whose character is suspect, his motives questioned, and his integrity doubted. It is the keepers of their vows who may content themselves, knowing that they are honorable and faithful people. login to post comments | Father David Epps's blog
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