More books to put on ‘banned’ list

Though a decision has yet to be made in Gwinnett County over whether the Harry Potter books should be allowed to remain in the libraries of schools in that county, I would like to suggest some other titles from the Accelerated Reader list of Gwinnett County schools that should be removed.

These titles are likely on the shelves in Fayette County schools as well, so don’t think that your children are safe just because they live south of Atlanta.

The first book that struck me on this list was Mark Twain’s “classic” “The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn.” Hasn’t this been removed already?

Not only does Finn, a wild boy without parents, use the “N” word, but he hangs around vagrants and escaped slaves. Do we really need our children to desert their families and take to the river without a care in the world with a piece of straw tucked away all willy-nilly in their mouths? Huckleberry Finn is not a role model, and I’m sure if he were alive today, author Mark Twain would be deemed a most unsavory character as well, a liberal for sure.

There is also a book called “The Adventures of Captain Underpants” on the list and no book with an undergarment in the title should be on a school library’s shelves. Undergarments are to be worn beneath one’s clothes, and not seen nor talked about.

The third book that caught my eye on this list is the book “How to Eat Fried Worms.” If the title alone doesn’t turn your stomach, the fact that it features a child cooking and smothering worms in a variety of condiments and eating them should.

This book has been popular with children for over 20 years and it must be stopped. How many impressionable children have been pressured into eating worms, fried, fricasseed or otherwise, since this book was published? We may never know, but frankly, one is too many.

Children are highly suggestible individuals. They often do what you tell them without thinking things through. That’s why the Potter books should be banned, otherwise they will be purchasing magic wands and casting spells left and right.

Did you know that there are 28 books under the letter “M” that have the word “magic” in the title? Many of them are about a “magic school bus.”

While I applaud encouraging children to ride the bus, a “magic” school bus brings up a whole new mess of problems. What if students incorrectly believe that their bus can fly or talk or whatever this magic school bus of the books can do? I don’t know, I’ve never actually read any of that filth.

There are also hundreds of books dealing with the occult on our library’s shelves and I don’t mean “classics” like “Dracula” or “Frankenstein.”

There are books, aimed at a much younger crowd, about vampire rabbits and cats, werewolves who eat ice cream, zombies who don’t play soccer, aliens who are teachers and other school officials from the Black Lagoon.

What is so attractive about monsters and scary things and why must all of these evil authors try to lead our children to the dark side by making their fictional worlds seem so light-hearted and fun? Zombies will eat your brains, vampires will suck your blood and aliens will probe you.

If any of these things actually existed, that is. There are plenty of real things that are scary and unfortunately “writers” write about them as well.

“Treasure Island” is about pirates and then author Robert Louis Stevenson also wrote a book called “Kidnapped.” “Robin Hood,” teaches kids that it is OK to steal as long as it is from rich people and you are giving it to the poor. But there’s no liberal agenda in fiction, right?

There are eight books on this list with “runaway” in the title and 14 with the word “secret” in the title.

I do not want my child getting any ideas of running away or keeping secrets from me, especially if they keep a secret about reading a book I don’t want them to read. Perhaps the characters in the runaway books learn the lesson to return home, but I just refuse to take that chance. Remove them.

And while you’re at it, remove the book “How to Disappear Completely and Never Be Found,” by Sara Nickerson. I did not read this book but the title alone suggests that Nickerson does not care one iota about the welfare of the children who might stumble across her book in the library, read it and follow her terrible advice.

Let’s face it, authors have particular agendas and Nickerson must want armies of children to leave their homes and never return.

I also do not appreciate the subversive writing of Shel Silverstein. His lack of morality can be seen in many of his “silly” poems but also in his introduction into eco-terrorism, “The Giving Tree.”

I see a child reading this book and weeping softly at the end and I know Silverstein has made one more useless hippie who will fight the cutting down of trees for the rest of their lives.

I don’t agree with books that feature animals who talk, so I think that “Charlotte’s Web” and “Stuart Little” need to be removed, but I am fond of “Old Yeller,” which is a book that shows children the consequences of owning a pet.

I think the works of Charles Dickens are important, showing children that lots of children before them had it much worse, and the “Little House on the Prairie” series are also fine books. Well, I assume they are. I haven’t read them, but I really enjoyed the television program.

I am sure that if the parents of this community would get off their duffs, they would find books that offend them and their sensibilities. Let’s get all of these books removed, shrink the size of the schools’ libraries and add more classrooms.

Banning Huck Finn

Submitted by muddle on Thu, 04/27/2006 - 7:21am.

Funny that you mention Huck Finn.

When my family lived in Madison, WI ("the Berkeley of the midwest") the newly hired principal at our children's elementary school, a very politically correct African-American woman, ordered all of Mark Twain's titles removed from the library shelves. The reason, of course: Huck Finn (and Tom Sawyer) feature the "N-word." This woman apparently lacked the depth and subtlety to see that Huck Finn is largely about the absurdity of racism, and, much more, slavery. (Early on, Jim is seen through Huck's culture-conditioned eyes as a mere comic character--more like a pet than a man. But the farther down the river the two float, the more Jim's character evolves into that of a dignified man who commands respect. The truth of the matter grows on the boy as he is removed from the influence of his racist society and spends time elbow-to-elbow with a black man. A classic passage is Huck's crisis of conscience when he decides to help Jim escape, despite the fact that he was someone else's "property." )

I suspect similar shortcomings in the people out to ban Harry. Funny thing. I have argued with some conservative Christians that if you object to Hogwarts then you should also object to Narnia and Middle Earth. Some have bitten the bullet and said, "Yes, we should ban those, too!"

I saw the testimony of the Gwinnett County girl who claims that the Potter books led her into Wicca and then on to suicidal thoughts.

But long ago there was a news story about a boy who rigged up a chair with live electrical wires wrapped all about it. He sat in it, flipped on the power, and electrocuted himself. Why? He had read "The Time Machine" and wanted to give it a go himself. Does the fact that there are people who cannot discern fact from fantasy provide grounds for banning the latter?

login to post comments

Sadness

Submitted by Echelon on Wed, 04/26/2006 - 8:48pm.

I find extremely disturbing that there are actually people in our world who think it is acceptable to stifle the imagination and creativity of the future. This is America and every human being should be entitled to choose what they want to read. Perhaps if "Book Banners" actually read some of these books they would understand how the world really works. It truly is a wonderous place.

login to post comments

Don't Forget

Submitted by southernboy on Wed, 04/26/2006 - 7:37am.

Of course there are Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, The Little Mermaid, Mary Poppins-just about anything to do with Disney, that have corrupted a whole generation. Also, anything to do with Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy would need to be removed.

login to post comments

Banned books

Submitted by Robert W. Morgan on Wed, 04/26/2006 - 4:34am.

Good one Michael. That woman in Gwinnett County who is trying to get Harry Potter banned should be banned herself from meetings. She admits she hasn't even read the books! People like her waste everyone's time and contribute to this politically correct nonsense that we are forced to live with every day.

login to post comments