What Kind of Friend Are You?

Several years ago, Clarence Harshaw was recovering from a car accident that broke his back in four places and left him unable to move his neck. He wasn't supposed to swim because of the strain it placed on him. But Harshaw wasn't thinking about his disability when one of his fishing companions, 8-year-old Shawn Copeland, fell into a lake during a fishing outing. He jumped into the lake and rescued Shawn, the son of a friend, and then drowned.

The accident happened as Harshaw and his stepfather were fishing with Shawn and Shawn's brother at a lake in Cobb County. Shawn slipped off the bank and into the water. Although he was unable to swim, Harshaw dived in after the boy, then struggled for five minutes to find Shawn and push him to the edge, where the other adult pulled him to safety. Then Harshaw never surfaced. He gave his life so this eight-year-old boy could live.

What did Jesus say? “Great love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends” (John 15:13). Jesus is that kind of friend, one who went all the way to the cross to lay down his life for us.

During this Easter season, we remember the cruelty of the cross and rejoice over the resurrection. And we're thankful that Jesus was the kind of friend who was willing to make a sacrifice.

We live in a day and time in which friends are few and far between. Initiating friendship takes energy and effort, and we're too busy to develop friendships. Or too “cocooned.” We get home and stay home and rarely open our homes to outsiders.

Rick Warren, the pastor and author, once shared, “It always amazed me when “Friends” was on TV; (it's still on in syndication). When “Friends” was on, people would rather watch “Friends” than make friends.” People would religiously spend time every night watching the reruns, but wouldn't think of spending an hour every night making a friend.

People are starving for acceptance, affirmation and attention in a friendship relationship. What is the best way to make friends?

What did Jesus do? Jesus said, “You did not choose me, I chose you . . .” (John 15:16). Jesus took the initiative. If you want to have a friend, then be a friend. Show interest in people. Become more outgoing. Introduce yourself to people and talk to them.

There are four basic levels of friendship:

•Acquaintances. These are people with whom we have infrequent contact and shallow interaction.

•Casual friends. We have more contact with these people, and have more things in common. We feel comfortable asking more specific questions.

•Close friends. You share life goals, have freedom to ask personal questions, and share disappointments.

•Intimate friends. You have regular contact and deep connection. You have the freedom to criticize, correct, encourage and embrace.

•Samuel Taylor Cooleridge said, “Friendship is a sheltering tree.” He described friendship as a great green tree that spreads its leafy limbs over us to shelter and comfort us. Jesus is a friend like that, one who not only sacrificed his life on the cross, but also one who stands with us and supports us in the here and now. He's a friend who can be counted on.

What kind of friend are we?