Dollar Bills & Toilet Paper

Because the cost of toilet paper rises and the dollar falls, one dollar bills will make good toilet paper. When you go to the bathroom, greenbacks are much better than newspaper which tears easier or corn cobs which tend to be rough. They can also be used as decorative wallpaper, but save a few as they will officially become antiques after 50 years. In the meantime, you will save money on toilet paper. But hurry because paper money is in short supply, most of it is produced by politicians electronically.

Before the dollar goes the historical way of all paper currencies, it will perform the current use of the penny. Prior to 1971, (try to guess why), a penny would buy a large jawbreaker, bubblegum or one chocolate covered cherry. Coke bottles could be returned for 2₵ and fishermen could buy 2 crickets for 1₵. Now pennies are used to pay taxes on purchases. One penny will pay a 1₵ splost tax on one purchase. Our politicians would be in hog heaven with a 1 dollar splost tax. But happy days will return again when both politicians and the dollar are extinct.

Pennies used to be made of copper until copper content became more valuable than a penny. Same for the silver in nickels, dimes, quarters, and silver dollars. Just think, it now takes $15 to buy 1 silver dollar.

After Zimbabwe’s paper money collapsed this year, they are now holding talks on returning to a gold backed currency. Ditto for Russia, China, India & Brazil. Since the US doesn’t manufacture products anymore, what do you think foreign gold backed currencies will do to the costs of US imports? Take your time, the answer will come to you. But don’t tell the politicians because they won’t listen to you anyway. You will be branded a thug, racist, and God forbid, a conservative.

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