I listened to Muddle's "I want to drive....," and sure enough the frozen attendents were laughing at it.

I went to ONE ice hockey match in Atlanta and got so cold that I borrowed another coat. I do suppose that it is 30-40 degrees less cold in there than outside in "The North!" Never will beat frog gigging or carp groping!

Aren't these the same dudes who ride snowmobiles (machines as Palin calls them) in 30 below weather---getting rescued all of the time on the taxpayers dole? NUTS!

There were invented and are still built today in Southern California - Paramount. Years ago, when the earth was cooling off, I played hockey at their rink.
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Caution - The Surgeon General has determined that constant blogging is an addiction that can cause a sedentary life style.

I Wanna Drive a Zamboni

Hey, I spent 7 years in Wisconsin and 6 years in Minnesota!

It's a different world up there.

One of the strangest phenomena (besides ludefisk) is ice fishing. Every winter, an entire town of ice fishing houses is set up on Lake Mille Lacs, complete with stores, etc. Rumor has it that they even have a red light district (though others have countered that the women out there are frigid). And people drive their trucks out onto the middle of the lake.

My own theory was that any man who chooses to spend his leisure time out on the ice sitting on an overturned pickle bucket and in minus 30 degree weather in order to pull fish through a hole in the ice, most of which would have been tossed back in the summer, has to be experiencing marital difficulties.

Anyway, when I learned 12 years ago that this South Florida boy was finally escaping the tundra for the south, I celebrated by writing the following parody. It became an instant hit at St. Olaf College. One faculty member even made copies and took it to a retreat where all the attendees sang it.

Minnesota Farewell

(To the tune of "My Favorite Things")

Snowflakes are lovely but I've filled my quota
I've had enough of life in Minnesota
Silver icicles have lost their romance
Polka seems more of a dirge than a dance

Guys say "you betcha" and leave behind spouses
To trudge off and fish in their ice-fishing houses
Ludefisk's still quite a mystery to me
This is all abnormal psychology

Wintery bedrooms and wint'ry libidos
Summers spent dodging humungous mosquitoes
Norwegian neighbors who never approve
Do you wonder why I'm consid'ring a move?

Ice in my driveway just put me in traction
Sidewalks are ready for NHL action
My dog dashed outside for a romp in the yard
Now she's not moving; she looks frozen hard

I'm looking south to that great land of cotton
Days on the tundra will soon be forgotten
I'll swap my Sorrels for Speedos and thongs
Lie on the beach where I'll right frozen wrongs

We have the worst climate of all in the nation
Everyone's suff'ring from light deprivation
Ice-covered winters that won't yield to spring...
That's it,
We're moving,
Let's pack all our things!

Refrain

When the frost bites
And no birds sing
And you're feeling blue
I'll send you a postcard with palm trees and things
And soon you'll be moving too!

Very good poem and very true.

I spent some time in the northern midwest once and due to the drainage ditches, the mosquitoes I think are big enough to be the state bird! Were it not for the poison spraying from tanker trucks and airplanes, they would suck the population dry.

I didn't mind driving on the snow and ice since the areas are generally flat, except for the "white-outs and there was no way to knmow even where the road was located! Schools didn't close, ever, since they wouldn't even be able to open in the fall if they closed in bad weather.
Anyway as Keillor says, "all of the kids were above average anyway!"
(of course they never learned another new thing the rest of their life).

Mostly cocky, always sure, wish they were still in Germany type people! Liked to do unimportant things over and over just to get tired.

Who DOESN"T want to drive a Zamboni????? I know it's on my Bucket List.