Letters to the Editor

‘You will never walk in my shoes ...’

Tue, 02/07/2006 - 5:34pm
By: Letters to the ...

I have read many letters from Mr. Hoffman, over the years, reading his hate-filled verbiage and then tossing the paper in the garbage knowing that his words are meant to provoke, not educate or inform.

Like so many others who form their own internal opinions about social and political issues, he likes to pound his chest, up on his self-made soap box and shout to the world “I am right! Listen to me, you are all wrong!”

His latest letter, to our “Anti-Choice” editor Mr. Epps, thoroughly disgusted me. Mr. Hoffman and Mr. Epps will never be faced, physically, with an unwanted pregnancy. You can continue to pay “lip service” to those who will listen; however, you will never know the excruciatingly painful decision that a woman must wrestle with, in her own mind, when faced with an unwanted pregnancy.

I am truly insulted and disgusted, as a woman, that you write about one of the most intimate decisions we have to make as women, yet not ever really knowing how we feel or what we go through when faced with an unwanted pregnancy. You so easily write your words, pounding your chest from your soap-box, thinking you know it all, that you are right and everyone should follow. It disgusts me to my very core.

I was 22 years old when I was faced with an unwanted pregnancy. My boyfriend and I had been dating almost a year when I found out I had become pregnant. We were very much in love, but I believe we both had questions about our future together.

Max had quite a temper. There were a lot of discussions between us back then about me being pregnant, and a lot of tears on my part. Finally, he admitted that he “just wasn’t ready to get married.” I felt really lost at that point, abandoned in a way and very much on my own with the decision I was faced with.

I told him I was scared, needed some reassurance from him, wanted to know what to do. He lost his temper and hit me in the face several times. I knew then what I had to do.

I was very terrified, knowing that I would be seeking an abortion, not knowing what to expect, wondering how it would mentally affect me, sad but relieved in a way.

My mother helped me find a doctor. I scheduled the appointment and Max drove me there. It was at a nice clinic in town, and a very nice doctor who talked me through it all. After it was over, Max came into the room with a “present” he wanted to give me: tickets to a Jimmy Buffet concert. Of all things.

I was stunned at that moment. He would never understand what I had just gone through. Would never know the mental anguish I felt about having to make this decision, never feel the fear, panic or sadness a woman endures when faced with an unwanted pregnancy. And his answer to it all: concert tickets. I just started crying.

Needless to say, our relationship slowly deteriorated after the abortion. And the strange thing is, he asked me to get married after it all. I packed my things and left.

That was 26 years ago and I have never regretted my decision to have an abortion. I went on to college, graduated and have had a wonderful career. I met a great man, we married in our 30s and we have two wonderful children.

My kids are the best thing about my life. I am so thankful that I had a choice 26 years ago to end an unwanted pregnancy and go on to have the kind of life I had always dreamed of, with a wonderful husband and children. And I will fight to keep that “choice” legal for my children, and my grandchildren.

Millions of women have had legal abortions over the decades. Millions. That number tells you that women want the choice to control their lives and to control their own bodies. Yes, it is a private matter. The most private of matters that a woman may face in her life. And our Constitution protects privacy.

I am going to step off of my own soap-box now. But I invite other women to write about their own private decision to have an abortion. There are millions of us out there and we need to speak up.

Name withheld
Peachtree City, Ga.

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Been there......
Submitted by peachyinGA on Sun, 02/19/2006 - 2:30am.

but I didn't do that. Pregnant at 17, I decided to have my child. By 17 years of age I had already been taught that you handle the consequences for your actions as they come. Your future isn't ruined by pregnancy at an early age. I personally think that the decision to terminate a pregnancy is nothing but pure laziness. There is no way that I could terminate a pregnancy. I graduated from college have a great job and continue to do well. I have a husband and 2 wonderful children. Maturity absolutely has alot to do with it. But, if you put your self in that situation, parenthood makes you grow up.

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I have walked in your shoes!
Submitted by Janding on Thu, 02/09/2006 - 1:45pm.

I came upon the "abortion responses" articles in the opinion section of the Citizen and was immediately taken by a woman's article entitled "...walk in my shoes" and my heart went out to the young woman 26 years ago that faced a painful decision at a mere 22 years old. Mill lions of women are faced with unwanted pregnancies each year, and millions of women, each year, choose to terminate them- like the woman in the article. I truly admire her honesty and willingness to share her story, BUT, there are people out there, like me, who chose a different path. I was 16 years old when I became pregnant and I know how terrifying it is to feel so alone and helpless. I'm just speaking for myself when I say that most young girls, at 16, are not usually planning a family. It was never a difficult decision for me-choosing to have my baby. What would have been more difficult,for me, would be imagining my future without my beautiful daughter. The bottom line is that too many women are making "choices" concerning their bodies and unwilling to follow through with the responsibilities that go along with them. I never took the "easy way out." I graduated high-school with a 4.0 G.P.A. and I'm now married to my daughter's father and furthering my education. I refused to become a statistic. Having an unplanned (or unwanted pregnancy) will not ruin your life and I hope that other women in my position realize this when facing such a critical decision and see that they do have other "choices." If that tiny life isn't going to "fit" well into their lives, give it a chance in the hands of a couple that could love and nurture the baby as their own. Just as the woman in the article will continue to fight for the "right to choose," I will continue to fight for the rights of the millions of unborn babies that never got to "choose" their fate.

Jacqueline, Tyrone

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I have walked in your shoes!
Submitted by Janding on Thu, 02/09/2006 - 1:45pm.

I came upon the "abortion responses" articles in the opinion section of the Citizen and was immediately taken by a woman's article entitled "...walk in my shoes" and my heart went out to the young woman 26 years ago that faced a painful decision at a mere 22 years old. Mill lions of women are faced with unwanted pregnancies each year, and millions of women, each year, choose to terminate them- like the woman in the article. I truly admire her honesty and willingness to share her story, BUT, there are people out there, like me, who chose a different path. I was 16 years old when I became pregnant and I know how terrifying it is to feel so alone and helpless. I'm just speaking for myself when I say that most young girls, at 16, are not usually planning a family. It was never a difficult decision for me-choosing to have my baby. What would have been more difficult,for me, would be imagining my future without my beautiful daughter. The bottom line is that too many women are making "choices" concerning their bodies and unwilling to follow through with the responsibilities that go along with them. I never took the "easy way out." I graduated high-school with a 4.0 G.P.A. and I'm now married to my daughter's father and furthering my education. I refused to become a statistic. Having an unplanned (or unwanted pregnancy) will not ruin your life and I hope that other women in my position realize this when facing such a critical decision and see that they do have other "choices." If that tiny life isn't going to "fit" well into their lives, give it a chance in the hands of a couple that could love and nurture the baby as their own. Just as the woman in the article will continue to fight for the "right to choose," I will continue to fight for the rights of the millions of unborn babies that never got to "choose" their fate.

Jacqueline, Tyrone

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"Millions of women ..."
Submitted by mcg on Wed, 02/08/2006 - 6:36pm.

You state that "Millions of women have had legal abortions over the decades. Millions. That number tells you that women want the choice to control their lives and to control their own bodies."

I'm afraid that what that tells me is that millions of women were too careless to use birth control so that they wouldn't get pregnant in the first place. Women do have control over their own bodies, and they should exercise that control by using birth control. Yes, I know that some women who have abortions have been raped, are victims of incest, have used a birth control method that failed, etc. However, I believe that the majority of women who have abortions today were simply too careless or lazy and just figure they can always get an abortion if they turn up pregnant.

I know that this is probably not a popular opinion, but it is what I believe to be true. I think that it is appalling that so many babies are murdered every day for their mother's convenience.

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the kind of life I had always dreamed of
Submitted by madprof on Wed, 02/08/2006 - 3:52pm.

Because she was able to get a college degree, a career, and "the kind of life I had always dreamed of," the anonymous writer seems to take pride in her abortion--but not too much pride, it seems, or she would at least provide her name.

Mother Teresa said it best: "It is a poverty that a child must die so that you may live as you wish."

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