Letter from a Law Student

Fred Garvin's picture

Letter from a Law Student

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters,

We've stuck together since the late 1950s, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know that we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and just will not ever agree on what's right. So let's just end it right now while we can do it on friendly terms. We can smile, shake hands, chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and each go our own way.

So here's a model separation agreement.

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by land mass, each taking a portion. That's going to be the difficult part, but I'm sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy. Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate taste. We don't like redistributive taxes so you can have those. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. And since you hate guns and you hate war, we'll take the firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell. But you are going to be responsible for finding a biodiesel vehicle big enough to haul them around.

We'll keep the capitalism, the greedy corporations, the pharmaceutical companies; we will keep Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have the homeless, the homeboys, the hippies and illegal aliens. We will keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, the greedy CEOS and all of the rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and we'll let you have NBC and Hollywood.

You can be nice to Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer anybody that threatens us. You can have the peaceniks and the war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we will provide them with security. You won't have to worry about it. We will keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley Maclaine. You can also have the UN, but we will no longer pay the bill.

We will keep the SUVs, the pickup trucks and the oversize luxury cars. You can have the compacts, the subcompacts and every Subaru station wagon you can find. You can give everybody healthcare, if you can find any practicing doctors. We will continue to believe that healthcare is a privilege and not a right. We will keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and the national anthem, and I am sure you will be happy to substitute in their place "Imagine." I'd like to teach the world to sing "Kumbaya" or "We are the world." We will practice trickle-down economics and you can give trickle-up poverty your best shot. And since it so offends you, we will keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots. And if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the friendly spirit of parting, I'll bet you ANWAR which one of us will need whose help in about 15 years.

Sincerely,

John J Wall

Law student and an American

P.S. You can also have Barbara Streisand and Jane Fonda

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Submitted by Whiskers165 on Tue, 09/01/2009 - 3:56am.

This is completely retarded, for lack of a better word. Like completely and utterly. The part that really got me was the whole, "healthcare is a privilege, not a right". Tell that to some 11 year old with cancer or diabetes and will inevitably die without treatment that his parents can't afford, who's only wrong-doing was being born into a poor family.

But beyond that, a separation of liberal and conservative America would ultimately be the downfall of both societies that would spring forth from it. The whole reason America works as well as it does (and you can talk about how bad Obama or Bush screwed the country over, and yeah both have in their own unique liberal or conservative way, but all in all the country hasn't met it's demise yet) is because we have two political ideologies in this country, that both have equal rights under the law to run for office and can utilize free speech and many other civil liberties to promote their agendas, balancing eachother out and ultimately keeping this country from falling too far to the left or too far to the right. Both extremes are bad in my opinion. We may lean a little more one way or another from time to time but overall the fact that we're united is what makes this country as great as it is. The two opposing view points keep our country somewhat moderate, and in my opinion that's where we need to be.

Submitted by xpanel on Tue, 09/01/2009 - 3:34am.

sometimes, student's letter give me more fresh idea.

like scan for processus error

Submitted by jeffhardy on Tue, 09/01/2009 - 12:22am.

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Submitted by jeffhardy on Fri, 08/21/2009 - 4:44am.

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JeffC's picture
Submitted by JeffC on Wed, 05/13/2009 - 6:41am.

Why should you get Wall Street and capitalism? Virtually every economic area in the US voted for our side. We get Wall Street, most of the big corporations, the whole industrial belt, all the car manufacturers, Hollywood, NBC and all the other telecommunication companies, the entire northeastern part of the US, all of the West Coast, most of the rest of the US (we'll contest Florida separately as usual). And since we're the majority, we'll take the name, the history and the flag. We'll also take the Constitution since it's civil liberties offend you so much.

Besides, I thought y'all didn't want to be part of the United States anymore. Last I heard y'all were all moving to Texas and were going to secede.


mapleleaf's picture
Submitted by mapleleaf on Tue, 03/10/2009 - 7:58am.

OK, John. Which side gets all the lawyers? (That's what you're fixin' to become, aren't ya?)

Until I know that, I ain't signing.


Submitted by SallyB on Thu, 08/13/2009 - 4:57am.

This problem has been raised by many people. And I can say that there's no perfect solution for it. In each particular case, we have to consider all the circumstances and make a decision.
online diploma | high school test | diploma degree

Submitted by messi on Wed, 05/13/2009 - 4:25am.

gets all the lawyers? (That's what you're fixin'
associates degree online to become, aren't ya?)

Until I know that, I ain't signing.online doctorate degree | online computer degree

Submitted by skyspy on Mon, 03/09/2009 - 10:52pm.

This actually sounds like the way to go. The differences between the liberal and conservative camps are too great, and not worth repairing. It would be better to go our separate ways.

Submitted by James Hovland on Mon, 03/09/2009 - 2:13pm.

The GOP doesn't get anything! Your desire for our nation to collapse and fail doesn't earn you anything but ridicule. If the GOP had a legitimate platform or any credibility, they might have had a chance, but fear and disinformation just doesn't cut it anymore. The propaganda was effective back when TV was high tech, but the world has clearly changed. You need to catch up. The GOP is collapsing as an inevitable result of the era in which we live. However, the 'Right' isn't the source of the propaganda as many believe, but rather a product of it. It's always been the party of irrational opposition because rational support for "their" agenda just isn't likely.

As a "liberal", I'll keep my guns, my truck, my country, my peace signs, and whatever else a freedom loving American might pick up along the way. If you didn't know liberals had guns, trucks and love freedom, you're probably a little too Conservative. This unwavering belief in false stereo types and disinformation is steadily destroying your party, yet on the other hand, it's all that's ever held it together. Got fear? Get off the propaganda.

carbonunit52's picture
Submitted by carbonunit52 on Tue, 03/10/2009 - 4:45am.

Conservatives on here seem to think that they are the only ones who do any work, with the truth being that they make the most noise doing it. I have been working since I was twelve, starting on farms and moving on to the construction industry, and guns and trucks are not new to me either. The solution of sitting on a pile of ammo with a decade's supply of crackers and sardines simply must have an alternative, logically speaking. Their agenda failed miserably, however their addiction to it is in full bloom, with the essential element of denial intact. The post by the law student is lameness at its zenith, and I can see how it appeals to the conservative base. Good luck with that attitude in the new economy is all I have to say.

It's not easy being the carbonunit


Submitted by messi on Wed, 05/13/2009 - 5:41am.

I was twelve, starting on farms and moving on to the construction industry, and guns and trucks are not new to me either. The solution of sitting on a pile of ammo with a decade's supply of crackers and sardines simply must have an alternative, High school diploma online

Ged Onlinelogically speaking. Their agenda failed miserably, however their addiction to it is in full bloom, with the essential element of denial intact. The post by the law student is lameness at its zenith, and I can see how it appeals to the conservative base. Good luck with that attitude in the new economy is all I have to say.

carbonunit52's picture
Submitted by carbonunit52 on Wed, 05/13/2009 - 6:18am.

How is the marketing genius doing these days with all of your nonsensical postings? Got opinions? Anything that you would like to share with the rest of us?

It's not easy being the carbonunit


S. Lindsey's picture
Submitted by S. Lindsey on Mon, 03/09/2009 - 8:45pm.

FULL OF IT.. I could run a fertilizer plant with the stuff you are shoveling..

I will not lower my standards.. So UP YOURS.. Evil


meanoldconservatives's picture
Submitted by meanoldconservatives on Mon, 03/09/2009 - 7:53pm.

You might be able to post such BS in some places without someone calling it what it is. But, not here.

You would have everyone think that Republicans are the only party not currently in power who would be hoping a sitting president would fail. Well, strangely there happened to be a recent story that touched on that subject.

Just so happens there was a Fox/Opinions Dynamics poll done in August 2006 that asked 900 registered voters whether they wanted President Bush to fail. Here was the exact question asked:

"Regardless of how you voted in the presidential election, would you say you want President Bush to succeed or not?"

Guess what the results were James??????

40% of Liberals wanted Bush to succeed, 51% wanted Bush to fail, 9% didn't know

90% of Repubs wanted him to succeed, 7% did not

63% of Independents wanted him to succeed, 34 % did not

Then in Sept of 2006 Former Clinton pollster Craig Charney wrote about this poll:

"When these Democrats say they want Bush to fail, might this mean that they simply reject what they see as his far-right religious and corporate agenda? If so, it’s hard to see why independents—hardly right-wing zealots—hope he succeeds by 63 percent to 34 percent. Sadly, much of the Democratic Party wants to see this president crash and burn. [...]

Yet if Bush does fail—for instance, if Iraq spirals into civil war or the economy slides into recession—then America is in trouble. Making progress on these key issues, like others facing the country, will require bipartisan solutions, not political finger-pointing.
Fascinating."

Kind of puts a dent in your righteous indignation doesn't it????? Don't break anything climbing down off your high horse.....

LINK


Submitted by Whiskers165 on Tue, 09/01/2009 - 9:51am.

See the problem with you're interpretation of the data from that poll is the fact that wording of the poll is very broad. Fail can mean a lot of things to a lot of different people. I'd imagine not all 51% of liberals who voted in that poll meant fail by the definition you're giving. I wanted Bush to fail personally but not in the way you're talking about. I wanted his declaration of war against Iraq to not get passed by congress. I wanted his proposed tax cuts to fail. I wanted a lot of things on his agenda to fail, but that doesn't mean I wanted the country to fail as collateral. I'm almost positive that 51% of the liberals did not mean they wanted to entire country to collapse as a result of his failing by voting that they wanted him to fail.

And furthermore this poll was conducted by Fox News. Now I'm not going to argue with you as to whether they have a conservative bias or not, however I will state the fact that a majority of the people who follow Fox do have a conservative bias to some degree. Therefore someone who identifies them self as a liberal is less likely to partake in poll being conducted by a news outlet that has a mostly conservative fanbase unless they felt strongly one way or the other about their answer. That brings me to my next point about how this evidence is flawed.

The statistics given in the link only show the percentage of how the vote came out for liberals, independents and conservatives. It doesn't show how many people voted. So for all we know there could have been 600 liberals voting in it and 5000 conservatives. And if this were the case the liberals voting probably felt strongly about their opinion which is why they were voting. As a liberal myself if I saw a poll being conducted by Fox News asking if I wanted Bush to fail or not I wouldn't even bother answering it. That's just not a good question for a poll, for reasons I stated in my first paragraph. I'm sure many other liberals like myself felt the same way if they were presented with the option to partake in this poll or not.

All in all though I'm just rambling, but I guess to sum it up, the meaning of the word 'fail' in the poll could have a variety of meanings to any given voter, a liberal who doesn't feel strongly one way or the other is less likely to vote in a Fox News poll and on top of that the statistics don't show how many people voted, or the demographics of the voters or anything. You basically have no idea who the voters were for any of the political standings presented. This just isn't good evidence to warrant you're claim that democrats for sure want the term of an incumbent president of the opposing party to end with the country in shambles.

meanoldconservatives's picture
Submitted by meanoldconservatives on Tue, 09/01/2009 - 10:56am.

You would see that the word fail was not in the question. But, in the context of the poll question, if you don't want someone to succeed.....then, well what does that leave? The exact question was: Regardless of how you voted in the presidential election, would you say you want President Bush to succeed or not?

The scale was:Yes, want him to succeed or No, do not want him to succeed

51% of Democrats polled said No, do not want him to succeed

You can read that however you want. I'm sure the people polled were tied up and forced to give some sort of answer or be killed. So no, it was not a multiple choice poll like you obviously yearn for.

Maybe FOX News will be interested in your input for structuring future poll questions? I doubt it though with you being a liberal. Maybe CNN has a poll you would like better?


Submitted by Whiskers165 on Tue, 09/01/2009 - 1:14pm.

Asking if you want him to succeed is the same thing as asking if you want him to fail. Both pertain to achieving goals. Both are very broad. Polls conducted by new agencies just aren't very good to begin with. I would have the same problem with a CNN poll asking if people wanted Obama to succeed (personally I would have voted no, I was McCain all the way in 2008) It would have been the same thing just the results for liberals and conservatives would have been flipped. I'm not really a fan of CNN or Fox though, both are too biased for my tastes.

Overall though, polls conducted by news networks are just not too reliable on figuring out public opinion due to the bias in the fan base every network will undoubtedly have. I'm trying to remember a polling institute I used to use back in high school debate that was pretty reliable. I would be curious to search for a similar poll, perhaps worded better and with more comprehensive analysis of the data collected

meanoldconservatives's picture
Submitted by meanoldconservatives on Tue, 09/01/2009 - 2:21pm.

A liberal, who did not vote for Obama? And backed McCain? Somebody is going to get reported to a White House website over this....

I would be interested if you find a similar poll, more in line with what you are looking for. However, I reserve the right to pooh-pooh it like you did mine.


Main Stream's picture
Submitted by Main Stream on Mon, 03/09/2009 - 12:48pm.

Submitted by USArmybrat on Mon, 03/09/2009 - 11:29am.

I read this letter yesterday on Boortz and I wish we could have that "divorce"!! LOL! The only thing is the libs would be back "in court", trying to get out of the deal as soon as they realized what a rotten "settlement" they received! Eye-wink

S. Lindsey's picture
Submitted by S. Lindsey on Mon, 03/09/2009 - 8:48pm.

and I don't need no stinkin lawyer.. I'll signem now...
William Johnson writes about a 2 nation America.. NUSA and the SUSA.. The North has all the Fondas the South has the rest.. Worked well in the books.. hmmm might try it again...

I will not lower my standards.. So UP YOURS.. Evil


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