A DAY IN THE LIFE OF JOE REPUBLICAN

Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with water to prepare his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging
liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards. With his first swallow of water, he takes his daily medication. His medications are safe to take because some stupid commie liberal fought to ensure their safety and that
they work as advertised.

All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer's medical plan
because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical
insurance - now Joe gets it too.

He prepares his morn ing breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe's bacon is safe to
eat because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat
packing industry.

In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly
labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents because
some crybaby liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his
body and how much it contained.

Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is
clean because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for the laws to
stop industries from polluting our air.

He walks on the government-provided sidewalk to subway station for his
government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him considerable money in
parking and transportation fees because some fancy-pants liberal fought for
affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be
a contributor.

Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical
benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy liberal
union members fought and died for these working standards. Joe's employer
pays these standards because Joe's employer doesn't want his employees to
call the union.

If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he'll get a worker
compensation or unemployment check because some stupid liberal didn't think
he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.

It is noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some
bills. Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some godless liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression.

Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his below-market federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided that Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his lifetime. Joe also forgets that his in addition to his federally subsidized student loans, he attended a state funded university.

Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal fought for car
safety standards to go along with the tax-payer funded roads.

He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in the
house financed by Farmers' Home Administration because bankers didn't want to make rural loans.

The house didn't have electricity until some big-government liberal stuck
his nose where it didn't belong and demanded rural electrification.

He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives on
Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinkin g,
cheese-eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe
wouldn't have to.

Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk show.
The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are
good. He doesn't mention that the beloved Republicans have fought against
every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day. Joe agrees: "We
don't need those big-government liberals ruining our lives! After all, I'm a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have".

Keep the faith