Shameless McCain

Is there no issue on which John McCain won't play the POW card?

Caught unaware of how many homes he and his gazillionaire wife own, McCain now is using his war heroism of 40-plus years ago as a deflector shield.

"I spent five-and-a-half years in a prison cell," McCain told Jay Leno (and other interviewers) when asked about the house count. "I didn't have a house. I didn't have a kitchen table. I didn't have a table. I didn't have a chair. And I didn't spend those five-and-a-half years because, not because I wanted to get a house when I got out."

Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot. McCain was a POW and handled himself with commendable fortitude. That means any question about character or other aspects of his life are completely off limits and illegitimate. All you have to know is that he was once a POW...just keep repeating, He was a POW...He was a POW...He was a POW. And if you forget, he'll quickly remind you.

Actually, he could have just as easily used another chapter from his earlier life in answering Leno.

He could have mentioned how, before going off to 'Nam, he had one house that he shared with his wife Carol and their three kids. When he got back from 'Nam, Carol was still there raising the kids. But the one-time model was also 5 inches shorter, quite a bit heavier and walking with a limp as a result of a serious car wreck. McCain was now a military celebrity who had lots of people telling him he was a hero. So -- well before getting a divorce from Carol -- he started sleeping around and looking for a mate more befitting someone of his heroic stature. He eventually hit the jackpot with Cindy, a double-platinum bombshell 18 years younger and many millions richer on account of her Daddy's beer business. So he gave up his one house for more than he can keep track of.

As Ross Perot, who paid Carol's medical expenses in McCain's absence put it: "After he came home, Carol walked with a limp. So he threw her over for a poster girl with big money from Arizona. And the rest is history."

Indeed it is.

In my experience, real heroes don't constantly remind you that they are heroes. In fact, they never mention it at all.