Obama World Tour - "Yes We Can!"

Ruth Kimble's picture

He ventured forth to bring light to the world
(The anointed one's pilgrimage to the Holy Land is a miracle in action - and a blessing to all his faithful followers)
by Gerard Baker

And it came to pass, in the eighth year of the reign of the evil Bush the Younger (The Ignorant), when the whole land from the Arabian desert to the shores of the Great Lakes had been laid barren, that a Child appeared in the wilderness.

The Child was blessed in looks and intellect. Scion of a simple family, offspring of a miraculous union, grandson of a typical white person and an African peasant. And yea, as he grew, the Child walked in the path of righteousness, with only the occasional detour into the odd weed and a little blow.

When he was twelve years old, they found him in the temple in the City of Chicago, arguing the finer points of community organisation with the Prophet Jeremiah and the Elders. And the Elders were astonished at what they heard and said among themselves: “Verily, who is this Child that he opens our hearts and minds to the audacity of hope?”

In the great Battles of Caucus and Primary he smote the conniving Hillary, wife of the deposed King Bill the Priapic and their barbarian hordes of Working Class Whites.

And so it was, in the fullness of time, before the harvest month of the appointed year, the Child ventured forth - for the first time - to bring the light unto all the world.
He travelled fleet of foot and light of camel, with a small retinue that consisted only of his loyal disciples from the tribe of the Media. He ventured first to the land of the Hindu Kush, where the Taleban had harboured the viper of al-Qaeda in their bosom, raining terror on all the world.
And the Child spake and the tribes of Nato immediately loosed the Caveats that had previously bound them. And in the great battle that ensued the forces of the light were triumphant. For as long as the Child stood with his arms raised aloft, the enemy suffered great blows and the threat of terror was no more.

From there he went forth to Mesopotamia where he was received by the great ruler al-Maliki, and al-Maliki spake unto him and blessed his Sixteen Month Troop Withdrawal Plan even as the imperial warrior Petraeus tried to destroy it.
And lo, in Mesopotamia, a miracle occurred. Even though the Great Surge of Armour that the evil Bush had ordered had been a terrible mistake, a waste of vital military resources and doomed to end in disaster, the Child's very presence suddenly brought forth a great victory for the forces of the light.

And the Persians, who saw all this and were greatly fearful, longed to speak with the Child and saw that the Child was the bringer of peace. At the mention of his name they quickly laid aside their intrigues and beat their uranium swords into civil nuclear energy ploughshares.

From there the Child went up to the city of Jerusalem, and entered through the gate seated on an ass. The crowds of network anchors who had followed him from afar cheered “Hosanna” and waved great palm fronds and strewed them at his feet.

In Jerusalem and in surrounding Palestine, the Child spake to the Hebrews and the Arabs, as the Scripture had foretold. And in an instant, the lion lay down with the lamb, and the Israelites and Ishmaelites ended their long enmity and lived for ever after in peace.

As word spread throughout the land about the Child's wondrous works, peoples from all over flocked to hear him; Hittites and Abbasids; Obamacons and McCainiacs; Cameroonians and Blairites.

And they told of strange and wondrous things that greeted the news of the Child's journey. Around the world, global temperatures began to decline, and the ocean levels fell and the great warming was over.

The Great Prophet Algore of Nobel and Oscar, who many had believed was the anointed one, smiled and told his followers that the Child was the one generations had been waiting for.

And there were other wonderful signs. In the city of the Street at the Wall, spreads on interbank interest rates dropped like manna from Heaven and rates on credit default swaps fell to the ground as dead birds from the almond tree, and the people who had lived in foreclosure were able to borrow again.

Black gold gushed from the ground at prices well below $140 per barrel. In hospitals across the land the sick were cured even though they were uninsured. And all because the Child had pronounced it.

And this is the testimony of one who speaks the truth and bears witness to the truth so that you might believe. And he knows it is the truth for he saw it all on CNN and the BBC and in the pages of The New York Times.

Then the Child ventured forth from Israel and Palestine and stepped onto the shores of the Old Continent. In the land of Queen Angela of Merkel, vast multitudes gathered to hear his voice, and he preached to them at length.
But when he had finished speaking his disciples told him the crowd was hungry, for they had had nothing to eat all the hours they had waited for him.
And so the Child told his disciples to fetch some food but all they had was five loaves and a couple of frankfurters. So he took the bread and the frankfurters and blessed them and told his disciples to feed the multitudes. And when all had eaten their fill, the scraps filled twelve baskets.

Thence he travelled west to Mount Sarkozy. Even the beauteous Princess Carla of the tribe of the Bruni was struck by awe and she was great in love with the Child, but he was tempted not.

On the Seventh Day he walked across the Channel of the Angles to the ancient land of the hooligans. There he was welcomed with open arms by the once great prophet Blair and his successor, Gordon the Leper, and his successor, David the Golden One.

And suddenly, with the men appeared the archangel Gabriel and the whole host of the heavenly choir, ranks of cherubim and seraphim, all praising God and singing: “Yes, We Can.”

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Submitted by A1226 on Mon, 01/26/2009 - 11:52pm.

I can't believe you would compare Obama to Jesus.. SHAME ON YOU.. Now would be a good time to ask forgiveness from Him above.. and I don't mean the Him you're writing a Bible on in D.C... I mean the real Him. I'll help you begin: "Forgive me, Jesus, for comparing a mere human to your holiness.. I should know better than to worship anyone other than You and Our Father in Heaven....." Now you continue...

Fyt35's picture
Submitted by Fyt35 on Sat, 07/26/2008 - 6:26am.

You either listen to his speeches with a dumb look on your face and then clap as you were voting for the next American Idol, or you listen and UNDERSTAND what he is saying and realize this guy is a Marxist. Are we as Americans so hungry for change that we ignore the obvious signs of this candidate’s leanings? They are out there people! Don’t let the media pick the next President, not in these times. Why in the world would you want a junior senator with no national security or foreign policy experience be our next president?

Do your homework folks. Here is a guy that associates with racist clergymen, has support among the same terrorists we are trying to defeat and is an elitist that looks down on the less fortunate. He has no agenda and it changes every time he speaks to a different crowd, talk about flip flopping. I not happy with the Republican choice either, however, he is the better choice of the two.

yardman5508's picture
Submitted by yardman5508 on Mon, 07/28/2008 - 8:30pm.

could you please clearly state one thing that Obama has said that makes him a Marxist in your eyes. Keep the faith.

Democracy is not a spectator sport.

AF A-10's picture
Submitted by AF A-10 on Mon, 07/28/2008 - 7:27pm.

"You either listen to his speeches with a dumb look on your face and then clap as you were voting for the next American Idol, or you listen and UNDERSTAND what he is saying and realize this guy is a Marxist."

I suspect many a conservative that are so intellectual they think Obama is a Marxist or Muslim fall into the "listen... with a dumb look" category. A *conservative (whatever that actually means anymore) wrote to the AJC about gaffs Obama has made. This person wrote,
"After all, he is the guy who said 'We are the change we've been waiting for' " Laughing out loud

This guy thinks that Obama quote is a gaff!

*liberals and open-minded independents please skip down to double asterisk....

Okay, my conservative Fox News watchers: "We are the change we've been waiting for" is a take on, "If not me, who? If not now, when?" Yes! We are actually the ones who are going to have to initiate changes in this country by using our American right to vote. We must use this right to vote for those who actually seek to change status quo politics.


It never ceases to amaze me how some folks among us don't seek to discover the deeper meanings of words strung together. The neat thing about words is when you arrange them in different orders they mean different stuff! Brilliant!!!

Kevin "Hack" King

travisstrickland1's picture
Submitted by travisstrickland1 on Sat, 07/26/2008 - 11:32am.

I guess you're just repeating something you heard from someone else, because after you titled your post "Obama Marxist Agenda" (poor grammar and all) you failed to say one thing that would suggest Obama has a Marxist agenda. I would love for you to say what you think a Marxist agenda of any kind would look like. In the meantime, stop using words you don't understand.
Despite what people like you think, many people, including the millions that voter for Obama in the primaries are not mindless zombies. They are people, just like you, who happen to think Obama would make a good president. What would say if someone blogged that anyone who votes for John McCain are mindless followers of Rush, Hannity, and/or Savage? If you don't like Obama, that's just fine, but don't tell me that the media has brainwashed the world into thinking a Marxist, terrorist loving, elitist is our best choice for president. Go to Obama's website and read his agenda. Then, go look up what a Marxist agenda looks like.

Fyt35's picture
Submitted by Fyt35 on Sat, 07/26/2008 - 1:05pm.

OK almighty proof reader, where are the grammatical errors? Are they similar to your sentence "the millions that voter for Obama"...
If you don't know how to spell Marxism please look it up, I know how.
I don't listen to Rush, Hannity, nor do I care to watch Fox or CNN; unbalanced propaganda. I'm sorry you base your knowledge on what you read on Obama's website, duh! In any event we'll have to disagree on this one.

BTW, look up Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels, you will learn something.

hutch866's picture
Submitted by hutch866 on Sat, 07/26/2008 - 11:53am.

After reading your post, I fail to see how you can take Fyt35 to task about his grammar until you maybe clean up your own a little.

I yam what I yam....Popeye

travisstrickland1's picture
Submitted by travisstrickland1 on Mon, 07/28/2008 - 8:22am.

Yeah, after removing my foot from my mouth, I still have problems with your post. Your bad grammar was in your title...Obama Marxist Agenda (maybe Obama's Marxist Agenda?). So, it was there.

And thanks for the suggested reading, but I've read Marx/Engels, a lot, and that's what made me question your post in the first place. I assumed you got your ideas from talk radio because your post was titled what is was without giving any examples of how Obama might be considered a Marxist. I know the ideas of Marx and Obama doesn't come close to being a Marxist. If Obama's a Marxist then George W. is a facist. I don't think either are true. So, please, show me how Obama's agenda is marxist.
The other points I made are still valid, despite my bad grammar, too. People who have voted and will vote for Obama aren't mindless zombies. Many, if not most, voted for him without giving up their free will. This is the biggest reason I questioned you knowledge of the whole Marxist thing. This is a low blow and intellectually cheap.
So, grammar aside, address the real points in my post the same way I have yours.

AF A-10's picture
Submitted by AF A-10 on Sat, 07/26/2008 - 9:26am.

kind of like a guy with a tattoo across his neck; it just screams "I make bad decisions." Please don't take my advice. Smiling Somehow you pulled this out of your GOP-issued phrase book:

"has support among the same terrorists we are trying to defeat and is an elitist that looks down on the less fortunate."

First the easy part, then the intellectual:

1. Barrack is "elitist" is the most nonsensical GOP attack crafted to date. Attack the self-made, family guy not married to a millionaire; the candidate who doesn't have a financial adviser that calls us whiners in a "mental recession." You are truly dehydrated or delusional if you think that ship will sail.

2. "Barack has support among the terrorists":

A) If the people who hate our policies now sat down at a table to talk with us; if we brokered understandings with Iran, Syria, Jordan, Iraq, Pakistanis, and Afghans..... would that be BAD or GOOD? You *conservatives will never be happy with a situation where we aren't blowing others up as they blow us up. Peace doesn't motivate GOP voters does it? We really need to get the keys to the white house away from folks that think like you. Seriously!

Kevin "Hack" King

Fyt35's picture
Submitted by Fyt35 on Sat, 07/26/2008 - 9:39am.

Darn, I did not mean to stir the liberal ant hill! Have not blogged with you in a while, hope all is well.

I don't consider stating an opinion about a candidate an attack, it s the normal course during the pres elections, nothing new. It appears that the media doesn’t dare question Obama or dare to challenge him leaving it up to us the regular folks. A recent poll showed overwhelmingly that the media would much rather help Obama than McCain, ; do you think we are really electing the next president?

I honestly don't have a problem brokering some sort of accord with Iran, Syria, Jordan, Iraq, etc, but at what cost? They have shown time after time that they cannot be trusted. I for one want the troops out right now, forget a timeline. I want all the troops back home and let’s get our house in order.

JeffC's picture
Submitted by JeffC on Sat, 07/26/2008 - 8:37am.

"He has no agenda and it changes every time he speaks..."

BTW: There is no Republican in the race.

Submitted by jackyldo on Sat, 07/26/2008 - 7:01am.

there are no signs that Obama is any more than a liberal except what Fox and Hannity, O'Reilly spew daily.

If a guy raised by a single mom and his grand parents who worked his way through Harvard and had student loans is an Elitist ?

If a guy wanting to redeploy troops to Afghanistan to fight the Talibam and Al Qaida (who were not in Iraq) until we toppled Saddam is a friend of the terrorists ?

You want to talk about flip flops,, follow McCain closely.

I have been an independent voter for years and have voted for republican and democratic candidates based on merits.

The Republicans have had 14 years control of Congress and 8 of the white house and have run this country into the GROUND.

Everything they deregulated has come back to bite the working class (if you live in Fayette County your the working class champ) in the BUTT.

I give you several definitions of liberal
Liberty, the condition of being free from control or restrictions
Liberal democracy, a form of government based on limited majority rule
Liberal Party, members of the political party. In a classical sense, a government or political party associated with ideals of high individual freedom and opposing both conservative and socialist positions, particularly those of economic protectionists and authoritarians.
Make me a liberal and proud of it.

NUK_1's picture
Submitted by NUK_1 on Sat, 07/26/2008 - 9:37am.

American liberals certainly do not "oppose both conservative and socialistic positions." Many of the socialistic elements of American government are highly touted by liberals and they have a real zest for wanting to expand them. Anyone think that the "Great Society" programs are anything but straight from liberals? I would argue that American liberals also have about as little respect for "high individual freedom" as neo-conservatives.

The several definitions of liberal you gave are much more associated now with libertarian than American liberal. As most know, liberals despise libertarians as much as they do a far-right politico because that's WAY more liberty than liberals are interested in people having.

Submitted by susieq on Sat, 07/26/2008 - 11:55am.

For those of you who slept through World History 101 here is a condensed version.

Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all of history were:
1. The invention of beer, and
2. The invention of the wheel.
The wheel was invented to get man to the beer, and the beer to the man.

These facts formed the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

1. Liberals
2. Conservatives

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as girlie-men.

Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy and group hugs, the evolution of the Hollywood actor, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide all the meat and beer that conservatives provided.

Over the years, Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note: most liberal women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers,personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals.

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, firemen, lumberjacks, construction workers, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and
generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history.

It should be noted that a liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above.

A conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers, and to more liberals...just to p*** them off.

(author unknown, this was a forwarded e-mail)

Robert W. Morgan's picture
Submitted by Robert W. Morgan on Sat, 07/26/2008 - 1:57pm.

My favorite part is ---

most liberal women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers,per
sonal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals.

And the jackass is an appropriate symbol.


Submitted by Bonkers on Sat, 07/26/2008 - 2:26pm.

Elephants are carrying around something like 800# of elephant Dung at any given time!
Jackasses are very clean about this sort of thing.

The only species that I know who are worse than the elephant for that sort of thing are lawyers!

Being an Independent, we have no symbol. It is just that we are not sheep who follow the leader over the cliff as your elephant has for the last 8 years!

Actually your political party is more like a mule. Incapable of producing anything new! The people you call liberals can at least reproduce---boy do they!

Submitted by A1226 on Tue, 01/27/2009 - 12:16am.

In the post up there it says Obama has disciples.. and they follow their leader.. EVERYWHERE... yep, just thought I'd make a statement there..
Oh, and you say the "elephant" party can't produce anything new?! That's funny since Obama is reinstating a lot of people who worked with Bill Clinton before... Is that considered new or something?? Also, I am getting a little sick of seeing Hillary Clinton's face...

New... ha...

But on another note, although I did not vote for Obama, I pray he will be nothing but good for our country.

P.S. Obama is a real African American and not a typical "african american" you find in Clayton County, so don't compare race on that one those who tear up because "one of their own" are in authority.. He's not like you.. So calm down...

Submitted by skyspy on Tue, 01/27/2009 - 12:20am.

There is a little difference.

Submitted by A1226 on Tue, 01/27/2009 - 12:35am.


JeffC's picture
Submitted by JeffC on Sat, 07/26/2008 - 10:26am.

All of the following statements are from Bob Barr and the Libertarian Party platform. I agree with all of them and they are all anathema to the Republicans:

In the face of relentless scare-mongering by the Bush Administration… people can no longer reasonably assume their privacy or other civil liberties are secure from the government. The executive branch has illegally surveilled millions of telephone calls and e-mails. Neither emails nor even the records of library books that are checked out are now safe from the government’s prying eyes. These federal powers have been used all too often in creating a giant database of names and information on law-abiding American citizens — not the terrorists the Bush administration said it intended to track down.

We may not yet be in the nightmare world of George Orwell's classic novel “1984”, but time is fast running out for a society that values freedom and liberty.

The Fourth Amendment was designed for precisely this purpose — to protect Americans from illegal searches and seizures by the government. Yet the Bush administration, aided by many Congressional Democrats and Republicans, has worked to gut both constitutional and legal protections for the privacy rights and civil liberties of American citizens.

The Fourth Amendment was designed for precisely this purpose — to protect Americans from illegal searches and seizures by the government. Yet the Bush administration, aided by many Congressional Democrats and Republicans, has worked to gut both constitutional and legal protections for the privacy rights and civil liberties of American citizens.

Barr pointed to multiple administration practices: claiming that the president was authorized to override statutes and the Constitution, conducting illegal surveillance of the phone calls of Americans, using executive privilege to frustrate congressional inquiries, claiming “state secrets” to defeat private lawsuits over administration abuses, issuing “signing statements” to justify violating bills that he signed into law, and contending the president alone was authorized to take the nation into war.

The invasion and occupation of Iraq were two separate mistakes, which collectively have cost thousands of American lives and hundreds of billions of U.S. taxpayer dollars. Every day that the occupation in Iraq continues without a withdrawal plan is a day that more American blood and treasure (some $400 million a day) is needlessly wasted.
Defending the liberties that we enjoy in the United States by serving in the Armed Forces is one of life’s most honorable pursuits. Our veterans who have sacrificed much and risked all to protect America, often paying in their own blood, deserve our support both during their time of duty and thereafter.

The Declaration of Independence states that all men are created equal. Government should make no law that discriminates based on race, religion, sexuality or any other personal characteristic.

Regardless of whether one supports or opposes same sex marriage, the decision to recognize such unions ought to be made by each state rather than imposed as a one-size-fits-all mandate by the federal government. Any federal laws that prevent states from determining their own standards for marriage should be repealed; the federal government should not define marriage, whether by statute or constitutional amendment.

NUK_1's picture
Submitted by NUK_1 on Sat, 07/26/2008 - 11:39am.

There is no doubt that the LP has plenty of disagreements with Repubs/neo-cons, but I don't see any greater amount than the big differences between liberals and libertarians.

While Bob Barr isn't a traditional libertarian by any means as he doesn't advocate the elimination of all drug laws and other victimless crimes and an argument could be made he's not very sincere in his recent conversion away from far-right lunacy, he's definitely against the full range of governmental welfare programs that liberals hold dear. I also doubt you'll hear many Americanized liberals advocating the repeal of about all laws concerning discrimination, guns, hate speech/hate crimes, conspiracy laws,etc., nor the embrace of pure free market capitalism and free trade without restrictions.

JeffC's picture
Submitted by JeffC on Sat, 07/26/2008 - 2:46pm.

I was going to write about how there is no pure free market capitalism and free trade without restrictions, blah, blah, blah, etc. etc. But instead I'm going out to sit on my deck and sip some cold suds. Pretend I wrote a long screed about it and, if you want, I'll pretend you wrote a witty reply back.

Have a good one NUK!

Submitted by Bonkers on Sat, 07/26/2008 - 2:58pm.

There are very simple rules that apply to "free trade" and also to Federal interference:

Conservatives-----If we need an item free traded or want federal interference (Freddie and Fannie) then it is OK.

Liberals----------The same!

What we have is DemoSociDictaCommune.

sniffles5's picture
Submitted by sniffles5 on Fri, 07/25/2008 - 2:06pm.

You left out the last line of the article you filched from the Times, Ruth: "Copyright 2008 Times Newspapers Ltd."

Good thing the Citizen crew has a "wink, nudge" approach to copyright violations or you'd be feeling the sting of Cal Beverly's terrible swift bannination sword.

Ruth Kimble's picture
Submitted by Ruth Kimble on Fri, 07/25/2008 - 2:36pm.

I'm new to this.
However, I did credit the article to the author.
Ruth Kimble

samtheman's picture
Submitted by samtheman on Fri, 07/25/2008 - 3:18pm.

I saw the author's name right at the top of your post.

Sniffles has felt the "terrible swift bannination sword" when he was banned under his Basmati ID for stuff a lot worse than omitting a copyright cite.

sniffles5's picture
Submitted by sniffles5 on Fri, 07/25/2008 - 3:12pm.

Since you are, as you say, new to this, allow me to lessen your ignorance somewhat.

Copying and pasting entire copyrighted articles is theft, no different than walking into Walgreens and helping yourself to a candy bar without paying.

The law permits you to link to an article, additionally there is something called the "fair use" doctrine which allows you to quote a certain passage from an article (NOT the entire article) to make your point.

Hopefully, you won't repeat this deplorable behavior in the future.

Ruth Kimble's picture
Submitted by Ruth Kimble on Fri, 07/25/2008 - 3:23pm.

Are you always this pompous?

'Scuse me, the copyright police are knocking at my door. LOL

Ruth Kimble

zoes's picture
Submitted by zoes on Fri, 07/25/2008 - 1:46pm.

I can't believe you took credit for that!!

It came directly from The Times Online, written by Gerard Baker.
"He ventured forth to bring light to the world
The anointed one's pilgrimage to the Holy Land is a miracle in action - and a blessing to all his faithful followers"


"Never love anything that can't love you back."

Ruth Kimble's picture
Submitted by Ruth Kimble on Fri, 07/25/2008 - 2:22pm.

Read the post again. It clearly states, "by Gerard Baker".

Please read more carefully before you go around making scurrilous accusations.

Ruth Kimble

zoes's picture
Submitted by zoes on Fri, 07/25/2008 - 2:37pm.

I read quite well. Nice editing.

"Never love anything that can't love you back."

Ruth Kimble's picture
Submitted by Ruth Kimble on Fri, 07/25/2008 - 2:40pm.

How did you manage to miss the "by Gerard Baker" line then? Not just once, but TWICE (you posted twice that I failed to credit the author).

Need glasses maybe? Or a new prescription? LOL

Ruth Kimble

zoes's picture
Submitted by zoes on Fri, 07/25/2008 - 2:53pm.

Don't be rude just because you are new. You did NOT properly credit this article. And you DID take credit for writing it by failing to let Fayette Flyer know you didn't write it: Ruth, You're A Nut!!
Submitted by FayetteFlyer on Fri, 07/25/2008 - 11:47am.
You should be writing for the Daly Show! This was too funny!

"Never love anything that can't love you back."

muddle's picture
Submitted by muddle on Fri, 07/25/2008 - 9:59am.

Anybody know where I can get a t-shirt that lists all of the venues and dates on the back?


Oh By Jingo

sniffles5's picture
Submitted by sniffles5 on Fri, 07/25/2008 - 3:22pm.

From the wonderful America-haters over at Michelle Malkin's place:


You can find virtually everything on the Internets (a series of tubes).

JeffC's picture
Submitted by JeffC on Fri, 07/25/2008 - 3:42pm.

Not if the internets tubes series are clogged with commercial trucks.

Series of Tubes

mudcat's picture
Submitted by mudcat on Fri, 07/25/2008 - 7:02pm.

Rush read this on the air today as only he can and Ruth's post and Rushs' narration help us all understand what an empty suit this BH obama person is. Shallow, clueless, inarticulate (except when reading speeches written by others - like Hollywood actors do) and unprincipled.

This dope may be the next Commander in Chief if the You-Tube generation comes out and votes - which they might if they get up out of bed before the polls close and remember where to go - I'm going 50/50 on that. Less for those that do drugs.

Chances are he will screw up big time before November then we will have the old guy and his younger VP. Fine with me.

ABBO Any Body But Ombama
ABBA The theme song for an Obabma Presidency - mindless pap

AF A-10's picture
Submitted by AF A-10 on Mon, 07/28/2008 - 7:34pm.

"Rush read this on the air today as only he can"

Yes, he did! Drinking coffee laced with vicodin while smoking a cigar sprinkled with oxycodone while sucking on a viagra-flavored slimfast. Yep! Only Rush could pull that off, and with listeners like you, I am quite confident in my position opposite Rush on almost every major issue other than immigration!

Cheers...... sour puss

Kevin "Hack" King

Submitted by Bonkers on Tue, 07/29/2008 - 4:23am.

With his new contract from the "conservatives," Rush will be able to afford his own Cuban Cigar factory, Oxycodone pill making machine, support properly all his x-wives, afford maids who will take the hit for him, doctors who will write any amount of Rxs desired, and date famous TV stars who want some of the millions!

JeffC's picture
Submitted by JeffC on Sat, 07/26/2008 - 8:33am.

I'm glad Rush read it for you and explained it so you could understand it.

carbonunit52's picture
Submitted by carbonunit52 on Fri, 07/25/2008 - 7:18pm.

I am curious: have you ever been recruited to train junkyard dogs?

Submitted by susieq on Fri, 07/25/2008 - 7:16pm.

While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75 year old Texas rancher, whose hand was caught in a gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Obama and his bid to be our President.

The old rancher said, "Well, ya know, Obama is a post turtle." Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a "post turtle" was.

The old rancher said, "When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a post turtle."

The old rancher saw a puzzled look on the doctor's face, so he continued to explain.

"You know he didn't get up there by himself, he doesn't belong up there, he doesn't know what to do while he is up there, and you just wonder what kind of a dumb *** put him up there."

AF A-10's picture
Submitted by AF A-10 on Mon, 07/28/2008 - 7:40pm.

"and you just wonder what kind of a dumb *** put him up there."

I imagine the type that voted for a man who could not teach a middle school English class, saw four years of unfulfilled promises, and voted for him AGAIN thinking they'd get a different result! The way I see it, all those folks have now are internet jokes. Unfortunately, they've made us all the butt of those jokes. Hopefully we've learned our lesson but good.


Kevin "Hack" King

Submitted by susieq on Mon, 07/28/2008 - 7:59pm.

You are the only one who answered, and I think you got it right. I would post some supposedly fun stuff about the Republicans, but frankly, they are too serious to be funny, to me.

AF A-10's picture
Submitted by AF A-10 on Mon, 07/28/2008 - 8:03pm.

Please keep 'em coming!


Kevin "Hack" King

Submitted by susieq on Mon, 07/28/2008 - 8:08pm.

This is old, so you've probably heard it. I TOLD you they are all too true.

Donald Rumsfeld briefed the President this morning. He told Bush that Three Brazillian soldiers were killed in Iraq. To everyone's amazement, all of the color ran from Bush's face, then he collapsed onto his desk, head in hands, visibly shaken, almost whimpering. Finally, he composed himself and asked Rumsfeld, "Just exactly how many is a brazillion?"

Submitted by USArmybrat on Mon, 07/28/2008 - 9:51pm.

Another boring comment from the Bush-Bashing Brigade! After eight years, it is so OLD!

Submitted by Bonkers on Tue, 07/29/2008 - 4:35am.

There is approximately three whole books written and published of such sayings by our very own Texas Cowboy!
Some are also new!

Submitted by susieq on Tue, 07/29/2008 - 12:23am.

If you will read above, you will see that I also posted the "post turtle"(Obama).

I voted for Bush. I will vote for McCain. Can't we have a little fun here? I thought the Brillilian joke was cute.

And besides, it was addressed to Hack.

Submitted by MYTMITE on Tue, 07/29/2008 - 1:00am.

In fact,I have already sent them on to many friends. Keep them coming. If we can't find something to laugh about then we are in big
trouble. Believe me there is probably enough to laugh about and to cry about on both sides. We need to stop taking ourselves and everything to seriously. Life is much too short. And then too, you have been a bi-partisan joker so if any of us get offended we should all be offended or take it in the manner it was presented and laugh--laughter is good for our health and for our souls.

Submitted by patches on Mon, 07/28/2008 - 10:17pm.

Don't worry what they say about President Bush.

What will happen if Obama gets President? They will say that everything that is wrong is President Bush fault. Now let's see Obama will have 3 more years to go what will they say to all the things he does then?

We already have things that Obama does and says that we know that he does not have the experience to be the next President. I could go on forever but it doesn't do any good. They want him, they can have him.
They can pay the high taxes that he has promised us we will get to pay. They can't wait!

I say this because I am concerned about our country's furture. It's not because of President Bush but how the next leader will run our nation.

Ruth Kimble's picture
Submitted by Ruth Kimble on Mon, 07/28/2008 - 4:26pm.

Post: $11.99

Dumbo ears from Disney World: $21.99

Digital camera: $189.00

Obama on the fence: PRICELESS

(talk a about a flip flopper!!!)

Ruth Kimble

Main Stream's picture
Submitted by Main Stream on Mon, 07/28/2008 - 6:40pm.

are substandard.

Try again.

Fyt35's picture
Submitted by Fyt35 on Sat, 07/26/2008 - 1:08pm.

what a classic!

travisstrickland1's picture
Submitted by travisstrickland1 on Sat, 07/26/2008 - 11:40am.

People like telling Obama jokes way more than they like supporting McCain. So, keep looking for and making up new ones...you're going to need them the next four to eight years.

Submitted by susieq on Sat, 07/26/2008 - 12:00pm.

Travis, you need to lighten up. This is the first one I have posted. Why don't you pick on $age/bonkers, etc.?

JeffC's picture
Submitted by JeffC on Sat, 07/26/2008 - 12:24pm.

Bush and Cheney were having breakfast one morning and the waitress came by and asked Cheney what he would like, Cheney grumbled, “I’d like some oat mill and a coffee.” The waitress turned to Bush and said, “And what would you like Sir?” President Bush looked up at her and said, “I think I’d like a quickie this morning.” The waitress stormed off mumbling, “how rude, another Bill Clinton.” Cheney leaned over to Bush and said, Mr. President, I believe its pronounced “keesh”.

Submitted by MYTMITE on Sat, 07/26/2008 - 3:11pm.

That was a good one. Liked the post turtle also. Again thanks.

NUK_1's picture
Submitted by NUK_1 on Sat, 07/26/2008 - 1:09pm.

Haha...that's pretty clever!

Post turtle didn't do anything for me. GROAN. I hope for much better Obama jokes and even Mike Lukovich to draw some Obama cartoons depicting him with elephant ears like he does with Bush since Obama certainly has the same oversized ears as the Prez. I think there is a much better chance for the former than the latter. Lukovich leaves all humor out of anything Obama and acts like a Kool-Aid overdose case or star-struck 13 year old meeting her favorite boy band.

Submitted by susieq on Sat, 07/26/2008 - 12:36pm.

Now THAT's funny...and probably the truth!

Robert W. Morgan's picture
Submitted by Robert W. Morgan on Sat, 07/26/2008 - 6:03am.

Or Barack HPT Obama. I like it. It flows well and it certainly fits. As to who is the dumb *** that put him up there - that would be the media. What they hope to gain out of all this phony adulation is a complete mystery to me.

Cyclist's picture
Submitted by Cyclist on Fri, 07/25/2008 - 7:29pm.

That was goooood!!
Caution - The Surgeon General has determined that constant blogging is an addiction that can cause a sedentary life style.

Submitted by Bonkers on Fri, 07/25/2008 - 8:18pm.

No, the turtle is there because he used to be on the ground with scores of other turtles, scurrying around senselessly, and someone finally said to heck with it: picked up a turtle, sit him on a post and said, "this will do as well as any of that bunch!"

Submitted by loveptc on Fri, 07/25/2008 - 3:05pm.

You always make me chuckle. Maybe you can make up a shirt and sell it on the internet. "Obama World Tour 2008, Its about CHANGE". You can put it in the drawer with all the other "concert" t-shirts you have, just don't let it get to close to you're Allman Brother's t-shirts!

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