New Airline

Since all of the airlines are going out of business due to their being run badly and not planning for the expiration of affordable oil to fly the planes, a new airline has announced it's formation today using a different business plan.

The name is "Buttocks Air," out of Widebody, North Dakota.

Buttocks bought nearly the entire graveyard of old planes out in the desert, and has converted some of them to LP gas for fuel.
They have set up a 20 year hedge on the LP price in N.O., LA., owners unknown.

There will be no overhead storage inside the plane. Each passenger may bring his own bottle of LP gas and it can be hooked up easily in the overhead storage. This fuel will be used first before the plane's regular LP storage.
The company will issue the passenger a credit chit for use on the next ticket for the LP.

For those who wish to wait around a little while at the destination, they may help clean the planes for another chit.

Now, the tickets themselves aren't really real tickets. They are chits from a scale that weighs each passenger and issues the weight on a chit. Prices are as follows:
Atlanta to LA--$2.25 per pound with checked baggage in hand, as an example.
Minimum ticket cost = $450. (less chits of course.

No regular preventive maintenance will be done as these are throwaway DC-3s, 737s, etc,. and are nearly unlimited in quantity stored out there in the desert.
Minor things will be fixed on the fly.

The airline expects to get most of the skinny people and children business, and fat tourists.

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TonyF's picture
Submitted by TonyF on Sat, 06/07/2008 - 9:21am.

which is unlawful, somebody call the feds.
Here's the real article:

Readers Become Derrie-Air Of Fake Ad
Airline Doesn't Exist, Except As Ad Campaign

POSTED: 4:44 pm EDT June 6, 2008
UPDATED: 6:14 pm EDT June 6, 2008

Earlier this week, it was reported that some airlines were considering charging passengers based on their weight.

Then, an advertisement in Friday's Philadelphia Inquirer and Daily News suggested flying from Philadelphia to Denver for $1.90 per pound -- roundtrip fare based on total weight of passenger and passenger luggage.

Its Web site calls Derrie-Air the world's first carbon-neutral airline. The Web site claims the airline will plant trees to absorb the carbon released by its planes.

The site also gives price quotes based on weight from Philadelphia to a variety of destinations, including $1.40 for every pound to Chicago, and $2.25-a-pound to Los Angeles.

Could this be real? It was in the papers. In fact, there were a lot of ads in the papers.

But if you scroll all the way down, the site says, "Smile. We're pulling your leg."

The entire thing is a fictitious campaign by Philadelphia Media Holdings, the company that owns the Inquirer and Daily News.

The Web site says the campaign was designed to test the results of their advertising and to stimulate discussion on this environmental topic.
Distributed by Internet Broadcasting. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

O wad some Power the giftie gie us,To see oursels as ithers see us!
(R. Burns)
If we could see ourselves as others see us, we would vanish on the spot.
(E. M. Cioran)

Submitted by sageadvice on Sat, 06/07/2008 - 4:51pm.

This stuff by the airlines is almost as bad as ordering a Pizza, which now has three or four add-ons to a basic cost, without coupons!
There is delivery, box costs, tips, warm or cold, etc., and also restaurants now raise the cost of a soft drink to over $2 (actual cost of tea, about $.10 a glass. and maybe $15 for soft drinks out of the fountain. This is so that the steak on the menu cn continue to sell $2.00 cheaper than it should! But it looks good on the menu and our people anymore aren't good at math------just consider the lottery odds of winning!!!!!!!

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