I will surprise you and call you on the phone and scare you. I will want to talk to you but you can't see my number. Ha,ha,ha.
I relize thu way i convers is scarie tuh sum but folks i tech school. I am edugumacated good! I spik englishe and kin spell potatoe.
I am stil (not the alcoholic kind) convinced that this bpr is a made up character whose sole porpoise is to inflam and confound peple!
I joy join in myself, me.

why can't you know what I meant to say?
Some on here say I don't not exist! Im made up for comedy. It ain't truer.
I done do my bestest to splain and sides, I have a certificate!
Youngins go home from me havin larned much about spleaking splain and clair.
One thang we and the kids haf in comon is respect. I give em theres and they give me mine.
I cant do wifout respect all day. I get it from my perfect man.
Them what ain't Christians are in fer a much surprise come time. Time wil cum someday. I will be there but you wont haf seen me there, but I saw you.
What i wnt is some satisfaction and lots of answers (money). I see scores of people on Tv nearlyever day wantin answers. Usually why some crook got shot or someone got burned up with a porch far.
I think a few hundred wil do the trick for now.
I want the fear of spirit on whitey when I deal wif him or want a job.
He be scared not to hir me and he be fraid to fire me.
Hits gonna be interestin about sum getting fired in Lanta Friday. I see where seniority counts in thu firin. Didn't know the teansters repped them. Mean we keep the laziest and the most useless and let the gooduns go.We will giv em all a $100 thousand latr- and hir em back.

Oh, I got ofn subject--can't hep it.
I stil no whut I ment to say and you ought to to.

I practically wet my pants....

"Whut I do is baby-sit feller church member kids and change diapers sometimes. They give me a certifivation fer that."

certificate from Diaper University?

I thought you were getting all you have earned up to now.

Now you asking for an advance with the economy the way it is I just don’t have it, sorry.

that since Rodney passed away that I was the one who wasn't getting any respect.

I am a unit of little brain, in case you haven't noticed.

Of COURSE I respect you! Even though you are one of the most intolerant people to ever set foot in Fayette county, and have no respect for any opinions other than your own, I respect you! Why? Because you demanded I respect you! I was afraid you might hold your breath until you turned blue if I didn't!

I respect the fact that you can make far-reaching conclusions from the most limited set of data, that you are untroubled by your ignorance of the proper use of contractions in the English language, that you hold people that you disagree with to a much higher standard than those that you agree with.

I respect your ability to effortlessly change your opinion based on who said it (as opposed to what was said). I respect your ability to channel your "inner third-grader" by lecturing us on the playground law of friendship ("oh well, he/she's your FRIEND, so....").

Most of all I respect the fact that you have somehow managed to reconcile the Christian's "love for your fellow man" with the Southern Baptist prime directive "Hate them! Hate them ALL! They're DIFFERENT!" That sort of schizophrenic dichotomy cannot have been easy to reconcile, but I suspect you borderline bi-polar personality found comfort in those two extremes.

In summary, I respect you even though you have done absolutely nothing to merit respect!
___________
Diagnosing Denise