A friend and I were eating at the KFC when I was in college. There were 4 black girls about 4 booths away and they were being very loud. I glanced up as one of them was yelling and she looked at me and started glaring at me. I said, "What!?" She wasn't expecting me to say anything I guess so she proceeding to 'talk white'. She said, "Hi, my name is Sally.....blah blah blah...." in her best white voice. That was my first experience in reverse racism and I wish I could say it was my last. But it wasn't, especially because I was living in LaGrange at the time.

I was going to the chicken drive-thru one morning and if you know the one in N. Fayetteville you know the passage to the menu/speaker is most tedious. Being me,I followed the designated path. A smartly dressed, woman of color, in a fancy crossover (who, incidently, was behind me) decided the rules were for others and made a mad dash to bypass the path and head straight to the speaker. When I finally caught her eye and gave a "what the heck was was that" look, she gave me an "eat Shiitake" look and laughed. I smiled sweetly, blew her a kiss and mouthed "have a bless day". Her eyes widened and she went off the deep-end yelling and cursing. Typical. When someone expects hate and they don't get it, this really throws them off. I LOVE IT!

"The memories of a man in his old age, are the deeds of a man in his prime.You shuffle in the gloom of the sick room,and talk to yourself as you die."
(R. Waters)

Thanks I'm going to try to use that from now on. It will be hard but I'll try.

She was the one who cut in line, because she was sooo important, but she cursed you.

There's not too much that can set me off as long as it's aimed at me, as a service person I get my share of abuse from the public, and I'll put up with it to a certain extent and when I've had enough I just smile, say goodbye , put my tools on the truck and leave. Sometimes I'll give the warning that I don't have to take any abuse but mostly I just leave. My boss knows I'm pretty even tempered so if I say enough he'll back me up. About a month ago a person was trying to get me to guarentee that if I did a certain thing to his a/c it would fix it and when I wouldn't and suggested he call another company because we were'nt interested in doing his work, he told me he was going to call Clark Howard, I asked him what he was going to tell him, that we won't work for him? Then I left. Just another day in paradise, y'know.

I yam what I yam...Popeye

Or maybe two. As a married man who has had to nurse several knots on top of his head and who has had to endure a nights sleep on the couch let me add a couple of other names a man should not ever use around a woman.

Never refer to a woman as being old. Even if she is. If a man gets caught referring to a woman as "old" he must immediately insist that what he really said was "ole" That way you're not referring to her like you would a "Good Old Boy" as in age, but your referring to her as a "Good Ole Boy" as in a buddy.

While I'm at it, this is another helpful hint for the guys. If your bride asks you "how a dress or something makes her look", I've discovered an answer that works pretty dern good. Without cracking a smile, and with a serious face, just shake your head and say: "Honey, that outfit makes you look like some skinny runt model". I guarantee she'll wear it to where ever you're going and she'll even shake "it" a bit more thinking she's actually walking down that runway.

Hope that helps. I'm always happy to help out the little people every chance I get.

Hey David's Mom... I'll get back to you on those offensive words. Oh and that couch thing.... Us guys really like sleeping on the couch.

**** GIT REAL TOUGH ON CRIME ****

"That man was Griffin Judicial Circuit District Attorney Scott Ballard".

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"Us guys really like sleeping on the couch."

So that's why he doesn't sleep in bed with me anymore?

How ya doin? Hadn't talked in a bit.

Hey... Do you need some advise on how to get "him" back in the bed with you? I can tell you a couple of things that my bride could use to get me off the couch.

Remember.... I'm here to help my friends.

**** GIT REAL TOUGH ON CRIME ****

"That man was Griffin Judicial Circuit District Attorney Scott Ballard".

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Unless he starts using his CPAP machine again, I don't WANT him sleeping with me! He can wake the dead with his snoring. But he does "visit" often. So it's really no different.

But, I'm doing fine, how'bout you? Also, I did go ahead and tell Bailey about Daniel. She is taking it well.

So the snoring hubby gets conjugal visits. Now that's what I'm talk'in about. Lucky guy...He's got the best of both worlds. And he doesn't have you keeping him up with all your snoring, talking in your sleep, and the cold feet on the back in the middle of the night wake up calls.

Glad you told your treasure the truth. Covering that up would have become a nightmare. I can imagine how that conversation went. Bet it opened up some good mother / daughter dialog.

**** GIT REAL TOUGH ON CRIME ****

"That man was Griffin Judicial Circuit District Attorney Scott Ballard".

CLICK HERE FOR THE REST OF THE STORY

How did you know about my cold feet?!?! He says they're so cold they hurt. They don't get really cold until the fall though. But, yep, he's got it gooooooooood.

My daughter and I had the same conversation about her grandma a few months ago so she knows he's safe in heaven now and she's happy about that if anything. But it broke my heart when she starting crying after I told her. A 6 year old shouldn't have to go through this. That %*&#*@!

Like the time you tried to help Hack out with the Vette purchase . . .do you guys really say these things? Further, you think it "works"! Shoot, maybe I do need to come to work for you, I could retire a lot sooner and probably richer! LOL!

Thanks for the quick response. As a woman - I have the same reaction to 'those' words!

the other day about it often is not what you say, but how you say it? I agree there are certain words that are not acceptable under any circumstances, like the ones you mention. There are other statements while not actually offensive, the TONE can make them very demoralizing. Something as simple as "hey there kiddo" spoken in different tones can convey a multitude of meanings.

You're right - an excellent point. One can say 'thank you' - but in my culture a hand on the hip, the rolling of the eyes, and the tilt of the head can give those two words an entirely different meaning. Are only minorities offended by words deemed racially derogatory? I smiled when one of the bloggers identified herself as 'valleygirl'. Back in the day - that was not considered complimentary. Maybe no one here (white) has ever been called a word that was derogatory of his or her race. Is that so?

I used to teach in downtown Atlanta. Suffice it to say, *I* was the minority person there! One of the kids' favorite "insults" to throw at me was, "you WHITE girl!" - LOL - it made me chuckle every time. And I would always respond with, "Well, yes, you're right, I'm a white female." A couple times, one of my sweet female students would come over and whisper to me that it was an insult. I'd just smile and explain that it wasn't an insult to me.

A few times someone tried to use "cracker" on me - that didn't bother me either. By not being offended, I took the power away from them. You can't control how other people behave, but you can always control your reactions/responses, which potentially either empowers them or empowers you. In insult situations, I try to keep the power for myself.

With that said, though, I really, really dislike the "c" word that is thrown at females. And my blood pressure always rises when I am wrongly accused of something, especially if my integrity is being attacked. But as far as racial insults - I can't think of any that bother me personally.

Don't you know it, roll those eyes or that neck and it's a whole 'nother meaning! LOL! Again, it is often the way, either tone, action, etc. a particular word is said; guess we can say the "presentation" of a particular word.

I may not be the best person to answer the name calling question. . .but it does seems as though minorities jump sooner and are more offended by certain terms. Although, my knowledge of references for white folk is somewhat limited, I'm not sure what we are called. . .perhaps that's the reason we don't get so upset, we didn't know what we were being called! Example, outside of meaning ditzy and silly, I didn't know valleygirl was uncomplimentary.

I think you guys are talking about me. I grew up in the 80's. Yes, I did all thing 80's. I loved Neon Colors, 80's Music (Madonna's Material Girl), etc. I even liked the two Corey's (you know who I mean. I liked Corey Haim better. He was the best looking). I was an 80's valley girl. That's all. I didn't think it was a bad thing.

My husband is German, and hates it when he has been referred to as a Nazi, or a kraut even in jest. Sometimes people open their mouth before they think. And he also doesn't think its cute when someone gives him the Heil Hitler symbol.

Thanks for sharing that!! I entered school right after the end of WWII - and those of the Russian, German, and Japanese heritage really caught it! (As well as the Italians) Meanness and thoughtlessness doesn't just happen to 'blacks' or 'others'. Good lesson.