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I click when I walk I click when I walk. It’s a bit odd, but I’m getting used to it. It’s better than the alternative. I had been falling quite a bit — enough to alarm one of my sons, who suggested that I might want to sell my house and move into a ground-level dwelling that would eliminate stairs. I was worried about it, too. There have been a number of times over the years where I have stepped off a curb only to crash, much to my public embarrassment, in the middle of the street or parking lot. I also slipped down a few stairs over the past year. The worst moment was when I was carrying a wooden step-ladder in front of me and fell off the top step and headed for the bottom. I knew there was no way to avoid landing on the ladder so I braced myself for the sudden impact. No bones were broken but I lay there alone in the house for half an hour before climbing off the ladder separating me from the floor. That incident took more than a few days to achieve recovery. When I slipped off the platform at church one Sunday and slammed into the floor during Holy Communion in front of God and everybody, I decided it was time to get checked out. I hadn’t been feeling dizzy. There were no black-outs. I didn’t think it was a lack of coordination. I was puzzled. However, with age approaching like a runaway train and knowing that falls can lead to dire consequences, it was time to seek help. I had a hunch. I have always worn down my shoes on the outside. In fact, as I have gotten older, I seem to wear out shoes at an unusual pace. I remembered that, even in high school, the football cleats would wear down more quickly on the outside of the shoes than anywhere else. As I went through my closet and inspected my shoes, sure enough, the wear was most significant on the outside. Even my Marine Corps boots from Parris Island, which I still have and which I haven’t worn since I was discharged, were worn down on the outside of the heels and soles. So, I made an appointment with a podiatrist, a foot specialist. After looking at my feet and ankles, asking a number of questions, and taking a battery of X-rays, the doctor informed me that both of the heel bones in my feet were malformed. Whereas, they should have been straight, they tilted inward. The condition was obvious on the X–rays. That, coupled with the excessive wear on the outside of the shoes, made it far more likely that I was susceptible to frequent falls. It was, he said, a condition I was born with and actually may have served me well in my football and karate days. Now, however, it was dangerous. “So, what do we do about this?” I asked. “There are two things we can do,” he said. “One option is surgery.” I was afraid of that. In my mind I could imagine my heels being broken, re-set, life in two casts, followed by a painful regimen of physical therapy. Added to that would be the confinement, the restriction, and, of course, the pain. Pain is not my friend. “You said there are two things?” I inquired. “Yes, he said, “the second option is that you buy new shoes more often.” He explained that with newer shoes my foot didn’t tend to roll over and cause me to drop to the pavement but, with worn shoes, I was far more likely to fall and be injured. “Hmmm,” I pondered, “pay thousands of dollars, endure a painful surgery in both feet, go through rehab, and be sidelined for weeks or months or just buy new shoes more often.” I opted for solution number two. The doctor, bless him, thought it was the best choice for me. I asked him about “taps,” those metal devices that tap dancers wear to make the distinctive sound of foot against the floor. I suggested that the taps might result in the shoes lasting longer since the metal would have to wear out before the leather would begin to wear. The doctor said it was worth a try. So, at a shoe repair business in Tyrone, I had metal taps installed on the outside of my heels for the princely sum of $3 per pair. So, now I click when I walk. It sounds a bit like a storm trooper slamming his heels to the pavement. Once in a while, people will look at me funny. But my shoes are lasting much longer than they ever have and I haven’t fallen since. Not a bad deal for three bucks! login to post comments | Father David Epps's blog
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