Dude... You've exposed your lack of masculinity and self reliance. Let me help you out here before someone mistakes you as some wussy little city boy that wears spandex. Wait you do wear spandex. Oh well. Let me help you out anyways.

First... Take off the spandex and park the bike for a couple of hours. Go to Lowes and buy yourself a pair of pruning shears that will cut a 2" limb and a 24" bow saw. Both will cost you as much as renting a Makita. (Tip: Real men don't rent Makitas) Next, take the pruning shears and cut that puppy up in 4' - 5' lengths with the pruning shears. Heck, you can make those shears cut a 3" limb in you dig into it and then twist them around the limb. As you cut them throw them in the back of a truck asap so they don't get entangled and they're easier to load.

After you load all the little limbs up the next thing you need to do is take your spandex panties and wipe the sweat from your forehead and enjoy a quick glass of ice water. Then grab that bow saw and go after that leftover big limb and saw that puppy up in 5' - 6' chunks. This will take you a whopping 15 - 20 minutes and give you a workout that any biker should appreciate. Wipe your face again with your panties and load those big limbs (NOT TREES) up and haul them off to the Fayette County Landfill and pay $4 to back up and dump your limbs. Job Complete.

Now.... next time you have a LIMB (NOT A TREE) fall in your yard the net cost of getting rid of it will be $4.00 and a touch of sweat equity. And here's the good part: You get some good exercise that doesn't require you to impede traffic and put yourself and others in danger. And you don't have to wear those girly man tights either. There! See how the rest of us get our exercise?

Hope that helps.

Advice provided by Git Real as featured on the Clark Howard Show and the "Morning Fix It Show.

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"That man was Griffin Judicial Circuit District Attorney Scott Ballard".

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to chip up the tree. We did that when our Bradford Pear split last year. In fact, it made the task so easy to clean up (not to mention how fun it was, either) and nothing had to be taken to the dump. BONUS: it created 'free' mulch for our flower beds.

They grow quickly, look very full & have the spring bloosum but it seems like the only have about a 25 yr life. They are pretty weak & I've been told prunning does nothing to help.

They're a real PIA (pain in the a%$) tree. Most likely, the rest of that tree will have to come down. If you have more of them, you might consider getting a small electric chain saw (cheap at Walmart) and start thinning them out. Fortunately, they can be cut up easily and hauled off in a small truck. If you don't have a truck you could rent Home Depot's truck fairly cheap.

Call Todd @ Pro Tree no illegals and the lowest price I have found in PTC. I have used them many times in the last 2yrs. Very fair. 770-231-0314 or 770-471-4292 He will also give you advice on how to protect the rest of your trees.

They have very weak crotches and are subject to splitting. Be careful where you plant them!

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