I recently found out there’s no Bill King. The weekly critic in the newspaper is nothing more than a human clone designed by none other than Direct PAC.

In order to combat the good deeds of our local government, the Bill King clone was created for the following evil purposes: mudslinging, character assassinations, blame games, and overall negative pettiness.

The Bill King clone is easy to recognize and all civilians should look for the following: moodiness, negative incoherent babbling, a giant Logsdon for Mayor magnetic sign attached to his car and an “I Hate Rapson-Brown-Weed” T-shirt. If you spot him, please call the Fayette County Animal Shelter immediately.

The Bill King clone is considered a danger to our community spirit. It is believed that the King clone receives his messages telepathically from Direct PAC leaders Rick Schlosser and Rex Green.

Because the Bill King clone cannot generate enough negativity on his own, we think that Schlosser and Green will also have to send their own distorted mudslinging, character assassinations, blame games, and overall negative pettiness letters to supplement the clone’s reactions in the newspaper.

Please use protective eye-wear and think at least two happy thoughts before reading their letters to the editor. Remember, there’s no such thing as a respectable mudslinging clone.

This has been a public service announcement from the people that love Peachtree City and wish to keep it out of the hands of political action committees.

Vote for your family first; vote for Mayor Brown. It’s time to un-PAC the city so it can remain a first-class place to live.

H. Jones, MSG (ret)
Peachtree City, Ga.