Technology allows new rudeness

Excuse me while I kick off my high heels and stomp up on my soapbox.

I have resisted the urge to write about this for a very long time but it is becoming so rampantly rude that it is time to defend the business of good manners.

Call waiting, I have long believed, is rude. Is it Southern nice to be talking with someone and say, “Hold on a minute. I have another call coming in”?

In essence what is being said is, “Hold on and let me see if there is someone more interesting than you on the other line.” The person on hold knows that the other caller is definitely more interesting when she hears, “Let me give you a call back. I need to take this call.”

There will be no doubt in the spurned caller’s mind that she’s not interesting at all, if she never received a call back. This is not nice. It is especially not nice if you are calling long distance and you’re put on hold. Not nice at all.

I thought that telephone technology could not get ruder than that but, lo and behold, it did. Caller Identification, the proper name of Caller I.D., is perfectly fine when used appropriately and courteously. The problem, as I see it, comes when it is used to be blatantly rude. That would be when the phone customer puts a “block” on private numbers and does not let the unlisted number ring through.

My blood boils every time my private number is stopped and I hear a hateful message of, “Your call has been properly delivered but the party you are trying to reach is not accepting calls from callers who do not allow delivery of their phone number. Please hang up, do not block the delivery of your number and call again.”

I hang up but I don’t call back.

I’m not calling people who have to know who’s calling before they answer. This is the same as going to answer the doorbell, looking out the window and then deciding not to open the door.

Would you turn your back on a neighborhood Girl Scout, selling cookies? No, that would be rude. Well ...

What’s really gotten my dander up on this is that businesses are now using it! One day, I called four businesses that were blocking private numbers. I refuse to spend money with businesses that do any such.

I hear different reasons to explain away this lack of good Southern manners. “I have so many telemarketers calling that it’s the only thing I can do.”

No, it’s not. If the call doesn’t have a name on it, don’t answer. Let it go to voice mail.

“It’s the only way to avoid bill collectors.”

No, it’s not. Pay your bills. Or, if the call doesn’t have a name on it, don’t answer it.

We have to stop behavior like this because rudeness breeds rudeness. A friend asked why I didn’t call her on her birthday.

“I tried,” I replied. “Your Caller I.D. blocked my call.”

Rudely, she blocked my call. Rudely, I took it as an opportunity to ignore her birthday.

Now, is that any way for any of us to act? Is that good Southern manners by people to which society holds to a much higher standard of courtesy?

I don’t think so.

A Point

Submitted by PTC Guy on Tue, 11/29/2005 - 6:07pm.

Many telemarketers show as Private Caller and Unlisted Number and similar on Caller ID.

So, yes, they do have point on not accepting calls from those who will not identify themselves.

I don't see the distinction between them using call blocker and you not listing your number so you cannot be readily looked up.

Both are forms of sorting and censoring calls.

Question here, if your name was allowed to show on Caller ID but not your number would it still be blocked? I don't use Call Block so I don't know.

But really, people get fed up with calls from telemarketers, so why should they have to answer the phone to determine whether they want to accept a call or not?

You don't bear any responsibility in this issue?

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