Daddy’s simple truths

Tue, 03/06/2007 - 5:31pm
By: The Citizen

By RONDA RICH

My daddy never made a lot of money but he made a good living. For himself and our family.

The good living came not in the form of dollars but rather in simple truths and philosophies that centered our home and directed our paths. Those simple truths are the guideposts that continue to map my daily existence. He’s been gone for several years now but not a day passes that he doesn’t participate in the running of my life.

With Daddy, God came first. The rest of us fell into line somewhere below the All Mighty.

“Pray about it and let it go,” he said often. “You don’t need to keep tellin’ the good Lord what you need. He’ll hear you the first time.”

“A man who will lie to you will steal from you.” That one was always punctuated with an all-knowing wink and firm nod of his head. That was among the truest of the things he pontificated.

“Nothing’s ruder than to keep someone waitin’. Be on time. Otherwise, you’re telling others that you’re more important and that ain’t true. Ain’t no big I’s or little you’s in God’s eyes. We’re all the same.” Daddy lived on West Point time, arriving 10 or 15 minutes early. Me, I’m never early but I’m seldom late. Daddy was right about that. It’s self-centered.

“Your word is your bond. If you say it, you do it. No matter what it takes. A person is only as good as his word.”

Sometimes I agree to something that I wish I hadn’t. Sometimes keeping my word costs me money. But whatever it takes, I always do it because I had a parent who instilled in me the importance of integrity.

Daddy wasn’t well-educated, dropping out of school at 16 to fend for himself. But he was oh so very wise.

“Solomon was the smartest of all the Biblical men,” he opined. “He asked God for wisdom, not riches. But, if you have wisdom, everything else will fall in place.”

I often think of one of his other self-written commandments and ponder how much happier folks would be if they heeded that one piece of advice.

“Don’t ever get yourself so much in debt that you have to stay a slave to a job you hate.”

That one I had to test for myself. Just out of college and the happy recipient of credit cards, I dug a hole for myself, jumped in and covered the grave. It took three years and the untold agony of working for an evil, overbearing tyrant before I was able to purchase my freedom. After that, I swore that I’d followed Daddy’s advice and never sell myself into bondage again. I haven’t.

Yet, too many haven’t learned that lesson yet. It seems that not a week goes by that someone will confide how much she hates her job.

“That’s a simple problem to fix,” I’ll reply. “This is a free America. Quit and find another job. Don’t be enslaved.”

Often the reply is, “I can’t find another job with this kind of salary and I’ve got so much debt that I can’t afford to make less.”

These are college-educated people. Some have master’s degrees or even doctorates. Yet, they’re not as wise as my daddy with only a ninth-grade education. Wisely, he knew that controlling our pocketbooks also meant controlling our happiness and well-being.

Sometimes I write what I call “refrigerator pieces,” meaning that a column hits a note with readers so they cut it out and stick it on their refrigerator door. They want to be reminded of the column’s simple truth.

I have a feeling that this column is going to see a lot of refrigerator doors.

Though he’s gone in body, Daddy’s wisdom lives on.

[Ronda Rich is the best-selling author of “What Southern Women Know About Flirting” and “The Town That Came A-Courtin’.” She lives in Gainesville, Ga. E-mail her at southswomen@bellsouth.net.]

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