Risk another bite

A few days ago, I went with a couple of our staff to a Mexican restaurant. It had been some time since I had enjoyed guacamole, so I ordered a large side order so that all of us could share.

The server brought a bowl with “all the fixin’s,” as they say in the South, a heavy mixing bowl, and two avocados. When he was finished, I took a chip, scooped a healthy amount on the chip and popped it into my mouth — which promptly burned as though on fire. I consumed half of my ice water in one gulp.

I do not like spicy foods, especially hot, spicy foods. I know it’s all the rage these days, but I refuse to believe that eating must be a painful activity. I was disappointed and even a bit angry. I had enjoyed guacamole at this same establishment several times in the past and had never been burned.

I spent three years in Colorado where the native Westerners took great delight in trying to burn the tongue off the Tennessee guy. It was there I first ate “real” Mexican food, Tex-Mex, and other dishes. It was there I came to loathe food that left blisters on the inside of one’s mouth. I don’t mind sweating when I work out — I don’t need to do it while I am having lunch.

My displeasure was, evidently, intense as the server came over to see what the problem was. I was polite — I really was. I figured the whole thing was my fault for not inquiring before I ordered.

It was then that the other man at the table, Father Paul Massey, said, “You know, it could be that you got the only red pepper in the whole bowl.” I’m sure that my scowl reflected that I thought his comment was ludicrous.

A few minutes later, I decided to see if he was right. I placed a small amount of the green stuff on the chip, nibbled cautiously, and — no pain! To my amazement and delight, he was right.

I got the only hot pepper in the bowl with my first bite. The next several moments were spent savoring and sharing the cool, delicious guacamole to which I was accustomed.

I was glad I had risked the second bite. The risk was worth the reward.

Over the years, I have seen people emotionally destroyed by terrible relationships. When they finally end, the comment is usually, “I’ll never (date, get serious, marry, or) fall in love again.”

For a time, most stay true to their commitment. But, eventually, many take a second bite and hope for the best. One must be wise and heed counsel, but it is surprising how many times the second try is not as painful as the first.

The same could be said for church relationships. Nearly everyone who has been part of a church has been wounded at some time or another.

In my own case, the deepest emotional pain I have ever experienced has come at the hands of those who labeled themselves “Christians.” In 1977, after a bitter experience as a young 24-year-old pastor, where my salary was cut, I was publicly humiliated at numerous church business meetings, and my wife and children were the prime victims of vicious gossip, I resigned the church, the ministry, and took a secular position for the state of Tennessee as a counselor/investigator in child abuse and neglect, figuring that it had to be easier. It was.

Yet, a couple of years later I grudgingly took another bite and became the pastor of a tiny church in a lower working-class section of a Tennessee town that was full of genuine, authentic, loving people.

I still run into a few unpleasant people from time to time but now I have over 30 extra years of having my skin hardened and, besides, I have discovered that most people truly want to live their lives in a fashion that would please their Master and Lord.

When I was even younger, at age 19, I was dumped by a girl of whom I thought the world. She, it seems, didn’t want to be a “minister’s wife.” Dejected and angry, I turned my back on God, walked away, and did things as a “backslider” I never considered doing as a faithful believer.

But, one day, there came the ever-present opportunity to take another bite. I married a lovely girl who knew I had been called to the ministry and wanted to be with me anyway.

That risk of another bite has turned into over 35 years of marriage. And, while I am the “chief of sinners” in my church and, as far as I know, in this community, I have discovered that God is faithful when I have been, and often continue to be, so faithless.

I have discovered that he is a faithful Father who, according to St. Paul, is “not counting men’s sins against them” (2 Cor. 5:19 NIV).

It is entirely possible that the subsequent bite may contain a pepper. But one never knows until one risks experiencing pain. The reward is well worth the risk.

Father Epps

Submitted by Gump on Thu, 02/15/2007 - 9:40pm.

Father Epps,
You have a lot of critics on this website, but I usually like what you have to say, and this story is no exception. Thanks for sharing!

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Only Father David Epps...

Submitted by Basmati on Thu, 02/15/2007 - 8:55pm.

Only Father David Epps can segue effortlessly from hot sauce to emotional commitments.

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