dumb Irish jokes that might make you smile

1. An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and a cop pulls him over. "So", says the cop to the driver, "where have ya been?" "Why, I've been to the pub of course," slurs the drunk. "Well", says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening." "I did all right", the drunk says with a smile. "Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"
"Oh, thank heavens", sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."

2. The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

3. Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she is in tears. She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband died last night."
The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?"
She says, "That he did Father." The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?"
She says, "He said, 'Please Mary, put down that darn gun...'

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gelato's picture
Submitted by gelato on Thu, 10/05/2006 - 9:19pm.

Wow, what a breath of fresh air! Irish jokes are corny, but in their own right are funny. Thanks for sharing them. It surely beats some of the negative humor at times posted. You sure made me smile!


ILuvFayette's picture
Submitted by ILuvFayette on Thu, 10/05/2006 - 10:20pm.

Nice to see something light hearted for a change. Thanks for the giggles Smiling


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