Wednesday, April 16, 2003

I want to take this opportunity to thank the Delta Airlines Board of Directors for helping me finally find out just what I want to be when I grow up. I want to be a Delta CEO. I am ashamed to admit that it has taken me 52 years to discover this, but as they say, better late than never.

There have been several bumps on the road to discovering my true career path. At an early age I told my mother, after watching Dragnet that I wanted to be a policeman. She thumped me on the back of the head and informed me that such a dangerous job was not in my future. Later I tried to be an Air Force pilot. What better way was there to get in with Delta that first to fly with Uncle Sam? I mean a Delta pilot has, without a doubt, the best job imaginable. But the trouble was, I failed several of those silly little tests they put you through before they let you fly an airplane. It seems they thought a blind man could navigate better than me.

Well I got into the real estate and construction business. I've been pretty happy about it for about 25 years now. I own my own small business. I really had no complaints until a front-page article explained how Mr. Mullins of Delta has just gotten his $11 million pension along with a bonus to supplement his $750,000 salary. It said he earned this by leading Delta to a $350 million loss.

They even changed the way they calculate his bonus. When the company was profitable, they based his bonus on the profits. However, when the company started showing a loss, they figured they should change the formula so as to base his profit on how well they did by losing money.

Don't worry, I can't figure it out either. He also arranged for his friends at the top to get in on this good thing too. I think Delta's total bill to them came to about $23 million. The article said Delta is getting a bargain since they are working at about 50 percent of their true value as executives.

I now see I have taken the wrong career path. I want to be a Delta CEO. That sure beats being a small business owner. When we lose money, it's no big bonus, no fancy pension, no salary, and nobody cares except the creditors. They can be quite difficult at times, I must say.

But, oh, I can hear the skeptics and naysayers now, "What qualifies you as CEO of Delta? You couldn't even pass the Air Force navigational test. How can you think of running a big airline? Also, you only made Cs in accounting. How can you understand the fancy book work over there?"

All that is true. But the current CEO was hired without experience either. They said he fit the bill since he was a "good outsider." Bingo, that qualifies me too! And as for the accounting, I'd just leave the bookkeeping to the accountants. That way everybody will know if they are making or losing money.

I am ready to take charge of the greatest airline in the world. There is simply no better job out there: High salary, bonus if they make money, bigger bonus if they lose, guaranteed pension in they go broke. I'll even work on a great presentation to Congress. I'll explain to them how in spite of my unselfish efforts at saving this proud carrier, things are so dire that nothing short of government billions in another bailout can save Delta now.

At about 50 percent of their true worth I am sure he is being overly modest here I for one am quite thankful to him for doing this service at such modest pittance. Since Mullins and company are so valuable, their services in such high demand, we need to adjust ourselves to the reality that they won't be around Delta too much longer. How can we expect anyone to work at 50 percent of his or her true value?

I personally do not know anybody who would want to hold Mr. Mullins and his team back. They do deserve bigger and better things. And so do I. Just as soon as they take off and go on to serve even more industries, I will be available. Let this be formal notice to the Board of Directors of Delta Airlines, I, Steve Enterkin, am ready to endure any hardship for Delta; I stand ready to lead you into the 21st century. I want to be a Delta CEO.

Steve Enterkin

Fayetteville