Wednesday, October 16, 2002
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Wednesday, October 16, 2002 |
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We need a revival of relationships By JOHN HATCHER Fayette County is one of the most married counties in Georgia; that is, Fayette has one of the higher percentages of its population married compared to other counties. That's one reason it's too costly for single people to live here. As one of the most married counties, it also has one of the greatest potential for divorce to rear its ugly head. Seeds of divorce are being sown in Fayette area marriages without couples even being aware of it. Because of our busy life-style, I have discovered the one big seed of divorce sown in Fayette is the practice of a lack of communication. On the other hand, communication is the number one factor for a healthy marriage. But, we have to get the kids to soccer practice, music lessons, athletic games, band practice, etc. We just have to do this. Rarely do husbands and wives handle this ritual together. Always separate. Waiting on the kids is a singular activity. Which means no time here to communicate. Finally at home. Television has replaced the kitchen round table as venue for the evening meal. "Would you please be quiet; I can't hear the TV," is what we hear, rather than, "Would you please pass the salt?" In the new age, you want the salt, get up out of your lazy-boy and get it for yourself. After "family time" focused on Police Videos, family members separate: Mom goes to the kitchen to trash the takeout containers; Dad checks his e-mail and surfs a while; the kids pretend to do homework while gabbing with friends either on the family's land-phone or their individual cell phones. We are not communicating. The Hatcher home recently discovered we are now communicating more with our daughter since she's off at college than before. We talk to her by phone and communicate by Internet. More than former. Back to marriages: if couples do not communicate, their marriages will suffer and eventually die. Some may have a funeral called a divorce; some may continue to suffer until they die. Whatever! So, it's my responsibility, along with that of my fellow ministers, to get husbands and wives talking again. We just must get couples to begin sharing their feelings with one another, rather than engaging in a brief attack every evening. My fear is that even with the growth of organized religion in our community more and more churches that the level of spirituality is declining, mostly in part due to the decline of vital marriages. We need more than an annual marriage conference. We need continuing therapy by which couples can have cathartic experiences, compare notes with other couples, and make some decisions about changing their behaviors. If the devil can keep our focus on religion rather than relationships, he will have done half his job. But, the essence of the Christian religion is relationship. Jesus said the greatest commandment was to love God and to love our neighbor. More than anyone else, our neighbor is our spouse. And we must love in kind and gentle ways. Perhaps we should focus on a revival of relationships in the family. The Rev.
Dr. John Hatcher is pastor of |
