Wednesday, September 25, 2002
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Wednesday, September 25, 2002 |
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Americans love to clip and save By BILLY MURPHY Americans can be divided into two classes of people: Those who use coupons (couponites) and those who don't. If there is one, true signifier of the civilized world outside the invention of Triple-Action Tide, it is the use of coupons. Of course the use of coupons is a privilege, not just a right. Thus, those who don't coupon don't really have a complaint about the prices at Kroger, do they? Our forefathers risked life and limb when they sat down and hand inked those first "cut here" dotted lines. Just tell me something, though: Are they pronounced koo-pons, or cue-pons? I just wanna know. Either way, if you have one you can get your potatoes cheaper, or is that po-tah-toes? Actually, Webster's Dictionary says either pronunciation is correct and being bi-nuncial myself, I use both. I wouldn't even have an opinion on coupons, but no one is safe from them. They fall out of every magazine, they litter our mailboxes and they make your Sunday newspaper weigh roughly the same as a good-sized Butterball turkey. We are drowning in a sea of coupons. You can buy a futon with a coupon. Or, get some Gray Poupon with a coupon. You can even put some soup on with a coupon. Some people are so into coupons, they actually have the coupon wallet. They spend Sunday afternoons leafing through the newspaper inserts, clipping and cutting and saving. Then, with the precision of a rain forest botanist, they categorize and sub-categorize the snippets into tabbed compartments labeled with such titles as, "Food," "Beverages," and "Feminine Hygiene Products." As I walk down the grocery aisles in my weekly runs for YooHoos and pork rinds, I see these couponites studying the shelves and racks for just the right items. Of course, these are the same people who will make 10 people wait in the grocery store checkout line while spending 15 minutes digging for a penny in the bottom of their purse just so they can have exact change, but more power to 'em. Most people don't know it, but the term "coupon" comes from a French verb that means: "To drive 25 extra miles to save 35 cents on a product you don't even need." Well maybe; my translation is not that good, given I took one year of high school French in 1974. If you really want to get the couponite in a frenzy, just mention "double" coupons. This is where the merchant gives double the value of the coupon to attract the customer. How do they do it? Just how do these stores stay in business by selling a $2.69 tube of Colgate discounted down to $2.39 with the customer doubling her "15 cents off" coupon. It might have something to do with that same customer buying (at full price) a People magazine, some Covergirl lip gloss, a box of Kleenex, three Kit Kat bars, a Chapstick and some gum. Yet, given that every corner in America today has an Eckerd, a CVS or a Walgreens, those coupons can come in pretty handy. Personally, I long for the old days when corners were the havens for street people holding signs that say, "Will work for food." Maybe all the street people got jobs at the drug stores and trickle-down economics did work! Nevertheless, coupons are a very good thing. And to prove it, I'm still using an "Entertainment Book" I bought from a cheerleader in 1999.
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