Wednesday, July 24, 2002
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Wednesday, July 24, 2002 |
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Why I will never make it as a critic By MICHAEL
BOYLAN
Ebert and Roeper have nothing to worry about. I will not be nipping at their heels anytime soon with quotes ready made for movie advertisements. I will never be a legitimate film critic. I like too many things and can see positive elements in things that are not very good. Take last week's column, for example. I said that Jerry Springer did not deserve to be declared the worst TV show of all time. I also said that he wasn't even the worst talk show host of all time. Many people disagree with this point and have told me that Springer is a trashy, vile show aimed at the lowest common denominator. That may be true, but I'm sure Jerry knows this. That is part of the show's appeal. I found the trash-talking and outrageousness of the guests to be highly entertaining. Jerry Springer is the King of Trash TV and the worst show, in my opinion, should be the peasants of Trash TV, like Jenny Jones or Maury Povich. I like too many movies too. I have seen some truly terrible films in my time, such as "The Night They Robbed Big Bertha's" and almost nothing I see is as bad as that wretched film. Filmed in Conyers, the movie focuses on three thieves plotting to rob a bordello. The thiefs get a conscience over their scam when they realize that the bordello financially supports a local orphanage. Though the film is only 80-odd minutes long, it felt like I lost several hours of my life watching it. In comparison, "Men In Black II," which did not receive very good reviews from critics, is the new "Citizen Kane." I have hated some modern movies such as "Tomcats," "Freddy Got Fingered," and "Practical Magic," just to name a few. More often than not though I can find things to enjoy in most movies. For example, "Corky Romano" was widely panned by critics but I found it to be a fun movie. Chris Kattan, who is usually not one of my favorite comedians, played a consistent character and was surrounded by a decent cast. There were several really funny scenes and if you went along with the improbable story, they became even funnier. I also think that there are more moviegoers out there like me than there are that stick with the critics opinions. After all, "Men In Black II" had two huge weekends and if it was up to critics, it wouldn't have made a dime. People want to be entertained and to some people Britney Spears in a road movie is entertaining. I like films that are well received and view all of the Academy Award nominees for Best Picture each year but I can't watch films like "In the Bedroom" or "Gosford Park" over and over the way I can with films like "National Lampoon's Vacation," "Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me" or "Happy Gilmore." So, no need to worry Peter Travers or Lisa Schwarzbaum, you will still be able to pan films like "Jurassic Park III" and "Me, Myself and Irene" with smart-alecky remarks and scathing criticisms, while I and the rest of the nation will continue to go and view films that appeal to us and will entertain us. They may not be the next "Gone With The Wind" but as long as they don't make us want to leave the theater during the film, all is well. |
