Wednesday, July 24, 2002
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Wednesday, July 24, 2002 |
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Multiple maniacs at your service By BILLY MURPHY
A specific evil lurks in the neighborhoods of America like senior citizens at a Picadilly buffet. A brilliant, sinister conspiracy is afoot. The perpetrators make Kenneth Lay look like Mr. Rogers. They make the Lindberg kidnapping look like a plot from an episode of "The Powerpuff Girls." Most people have fallen victim to crimes by these offenders ... at the drive-thru window or the walk-up counter. At McDonald's, Wendy's, Taco Bell, Burger King or KFC, at 7-11, Quick Trip or Circle K; the sociopaths stand ready to serve. With scowls on their faces, checkout clerks and fast-food servers work their intrigue to drive customers insane. The idea for the first convenience stores and fast-food restaurants was probably a good one yeah, like the Hindenburg or the name for "Cheez Whiz." Like most viruses and infections, the idea started harmless enough, but now has become deadly. Being forced to wear lame polyester outfits accented in browns and beiges, what choice do these maniacs have? Revenge must be foremost on the minds of those found behind the counter or wearing the Madonna-like radio headset. I am sure we will never be able to fathom what money handlers across the country must put up with day after day. It probably begins with their training. Imagine a career choice that teaches you how to pack French fries parallel, wear a paper hat fashionably, or say, "Would you like a hot apple pie with that?" Thus, fast-food servers and convenience store clerks really have no other choice but to take it out on us, the customers. Remember the first time you drove off with that little white bag and realized that they forgot your fries? You probably thought, "What the heck, no big deal." You were just glad there was a place to buy food cheaply without getting out of your car. Then it turned into a Dr. Pepper instead of a Coke. Then waiting in a lengthy, sometimes smelly, line while the clerk chatted to customer #1 about the brake job they just had while your Dove Bar melted to ruination. Then a cheeseburger without cheese, a flat Big Gulp it has become maddening. What was once a convenience is now a woeful scourge. Years from now, doctors will discover it was not liquor or cigarettes or fatty foods that caused heart attacks. It was slamming the gas nozzle up and down over and over trying to get the attendant to turn the pump on, or realizing upon entering the highway that "there's no straw!" "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Like so many things in our modern society, convenience is a term that should be reassessed. Our mental health is sometimes in the hands of teenagers more interested in the latest Eminem video than in burgers or Slurpees. But are the culprits really the attendants, clerks or servers? Not to join the bandwagon but the blame again lies with "big business." To turn not just a profit, but an immense profit, more than a few workers hard workers are being paid too little. How can someone take pride in their salary of $6.27 an hour? How can a person really serve the public when they are not truly served themselves as employees? Next time any of us are frustrated in the service we receive, we need to see the big picture, the true situation. We might not even be the real victim. Next time, consider "them" the ones who must do the work. After all, we get what we pay for; and we might just need to pay a little more.
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