Wednesday, July 10, 2002

I read Jill Lech's response (July 3) to the Rev. Epps' comments (June 28 issue). Sadly, her experience at the hands of allegedly abusive parents affected her judgment.

I too believe that beating a child would be abuse, but I do not classify spanking as beating. As she quoted the Rev. Epps, "Spanking administered fairly, quickly and without rage is a good thing." I believe he is right.

She asked, "Who judges what is fair, quick and whether or not there is rage? Does the parent make this judgment or the child?" The parents, of course. Do you ask your puppy to decide how you should treat him when he soils your carpet? I think not. A swat on the behind with a rolled-up paper and a "bad dog" is what the pup needs, not Dr. Spock.

Anger must not be a part of discipline, but spanking does not have to have anger as a component, as must have been the case in [Jill Lech's] life.

I was spanked as a child. As a teenager I was disciplined in different ways (grounding, no TV, etc.). When I could reason, my parents disciplined me in these other, more effective ways. As a preteen, reasoning with me would not have worked. I had to see the consequences of my actions for them to have much effect on my behavior.

While some parents do abuse their children, the vast majority do not, and the Rev. Epps was speaking of those who rationally decide to not spoil their children by pretending that a 6-year-old can be talked out of wrong or dangerous behavior.

These children have not reached a mature level of comprehension at that stage, but because children mature at different rates, parents must be alert to these differences so they can discipline in the proper manner at the proper time.

Obviously she has not read Dobson's "Dare to Discipline" or "The strong-willed child" nor did her parents. I am sorry she was abused but spanking was not the problem, beating was the problem.

Rob Taylor

Tyrone

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