Wednesday, June 5, 2002
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Wednesday, June 5, 2002 |
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Ode to iced tea By BILLY MURPHY
If Shakespeare had been raised in the South, the adopted homeland of iced tea, he surely would have written: "Lipton, Lipton, wherefore art thou, Lipton?" Believe it or not, Shakespeare did actually write this: "Thank God for tea! I am glad I was not born before it." Thus in celebration of June, Iced Tea Month, I want to honor the world's most consumed drink. The origin of tea begins in the year 2737 B.C., when dried leaves accidentally blew into Chinese Emperor Shen Nung's cup of boiling water. Thank goodness he hadn't set his cup near a garlic bush. And just why was Emperor Nung drinking a cup of boiling water anyway? Maybe Shen Nung was Chinese for "Hot Lips." Nevertheless, hot tea was invented. Now, iced tea, the beverage complete, came about during the World's Fair of 1904 in St. Louis. There was a man selling hot tea during the World's Fair and the weather was extremely muggy. So, obviously his hot tea booth was about as popular as the wool sweater exhibit. Desperation being the mother of invention (not to mention the father of Desperation Jr.), he added ice. Just like that, he invented a new commodi-tea of versatili-tea. His recipe grew in popularity with its new-found publicity! Henry Ford, showing his new motorcars at the same world's fair, would soon invent the first cup holder. And if you ever wonder how he got the name for his first car, the Model T!? So profound a beverage, tea is the only drink that has ever sparked the name for a rap singer, Ice Tea, a gold adorned icon of the '80s, Mr. T. and a revolution, the Boston Tea Party (the cola wars, notwithstanding). The battle between Coke and Pepsi doesn't even hold the public's interest when compared to the debate over sweet ice tea versus unsweetened iced tea. This controversy is one of the big three dividers between "people of North" (PC for Yankees) and "persons of twang" (PC for Southerners). This controversy falls precisely between grits and the ability to choose a good huntin' dog. In the South a "tea bag" is the waitress who's been fetching you your drink of choice at Denny's for the past 10 years. I don't know how or why people do it. Drinking unsweetened iced tea would be like wearing ear plugs to a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert. It would be like wearing your bathing suit in the shower. It would be like leaving the wheels on your house trailer. It's simply unfinished business. If the good Lord had meant for sugar and caffeine to be kept apart, he would not have created the glass pitcher. Thus, drinking decaffeinated, unsweetened iced tea is as senseless as arguing with a Democrat. Iced tea, done right, though, is truly the real thing. Once you take your first sip of Southern smoothness, you are hooked. The clinking of the ice, the beads dripping down the side of the glass, the jolt of caffeine and glucose... Now that's my cup of tea.
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