Wednesday, April 17, 2002
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Wednesday, April 17, 2002 |
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Gay adoption: What will happen to Rosie's kids? By WILLIAM J. MAIER
I like Rosie O'Donnell. She seems like a very nice person. She's funny, down-to-earth, self-effacing and altruistic. I admire her commitment to breast cancer research and children's charities. But I worry about her kids. Last month on ABC's Primetime, Rosie "came out" and admitted that she is a lesbian. She spoke lovingly about the three children she has adopted and is raising with her lesbian partner, Kelli Carpenter. She also had harsh words for the state of Florida, which prevents homosexuals from adopting children. The Primetime special also profiled two gay Florida men who are unable to legally adopt their three foster children. Rosie has joined the American Civil Liberties Union in their battle to challenge Florida's law. Rosie's crusade on behalf of same-sex parents is certain to re-ignite the public policy debate on this issue. Many Americans will no doubt be moved by the stories of homosexual couples who have adopted "unwanted" children. Their hearts will be swayed by media images of smiling children in cozy homes, apparently thriving with their gay or lesbian "parents." But what will happen to these children? What kind of psychological effects, if any, will they experience as adults? The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) weighed in on this issue in February. An eight-member executive committee of the AAP wholeheartedly endorsed same-sex parenting, claiming that children raised by homosexuals do just as well as children whose parents are heterosexual. The committee's recommendations ignited a firestorm of protest among the AAP membership. America's rank-and-file pediatricians have overwhelmingly condemned the committee's report, challenging its assumptions and criticizing the committee's research as "seriously flawed." Some pediatricians have pulled out of the organization, and many others are threatening to. These physicians point out that studies on homosexual parenting suffer from numerous methodological problems, including inadequate sample size, biased sample selection, lack of proper control groups and the failure to account for confounding variables. So what do we really know about the effects of homosexual parenting on children? To date, not much. This is mainly due to the fact that this is a relatively new social phenomenon, and comprehensive longitudinal research is not available. On the other hand, hundreds of research studies demonstrate conclusively that children need both a mother and a father. Compared to children from single-parent homes, children from married, heterosexual homes do better physically, mentally and academically; they experience less poverty and commit fewer crimes. Why do children do better with a mom and a dad? Sociologist David Popenoe of Rutgers University has done extensive research on the different functions mothers and fathers play in their children's lives. He has found that while fathers tend to stress competition, challenge, initiative and risk-taking, mothers stress emotional security and personal safety. When disciplining, mothers provide important flexibility and sympathy, while fathers provide predictability and consistency. By nature, same-sex couples are unable to provide one-half of this equation. A few disturbing facts are known about children who are raised by homosexuals. These children are more likely to experience gender and sexual confusion; they are more apt to become promiscuous; they are at greater risk of losing a parent to AIDS, substance abuse or suicide; and they are more likely to engage in homosexual activity as teenagers and young adults. What will happen to Rosie's kids, Parker, age 6, Chelsea, 4, and Blake, 2? It's hard to say; Primetime failed to interview any adults who were raised by homosexuals. This is unfortunate, as it would have provided us with a more complete picture. Perhaps the producers should have interviewed Jakkii Edwards or Suzanne Cook. Edwards was raised by a lesbian mother who often had sex with her partner in the same bed as Edwards and her little brother. In her book "Like Mother, Like Daughter?" she chronicles the sexual confusion and abuse she suffered as a child, as well as her struggle with sexual addiction as an adult. Cook, whose father was gay, describes an anguished childhood in which her father refused to affirm her femininity and told her he was "repulsed" by the female body. She recounts that as a teenager, she and her father were often attracted to the same young men, and describes how her brother was sexually abused by two of her father's friends. As we debate the merits of homosexual parenting in this country, let us not lose sight of the critical issue the emotional and physical welfare of children. While Rosie O'Donnell and the ACLU argue about the "rights" of homosexuals, they sadly ignore the rights of innocent, vulnerable children. A decade from now we may learn that these kids were the unfortunate victims of a failed social experiment. [William J. Maier, Psy.D., is a child and family psychologist and serves as psychologist in residence at Focus on the Family in Colorado Springs, Colo.]
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