Wednesday, November 7, 2001
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Wednesday, November 7, 2001 |
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Harry, hogwarts, and hoopla By BILLY MURPHY If you haven't heard, the Harry Potter movie comes out Nov. 16. I hear that there are these books out or something that led to the movie. Frankly, I gave up reading when "Mad" magazine started going downhill after the Star Wars parody of '78. "Harry Potter," though, has been so popular that I have been thinking about finding out if we have a library or not and checking out a copy. The real reason that I want to become informed on Harry Potter, is because of the coming controversy. After all, isn't Harry a card-carrying, dyed-in-wolf, devil worshiper? Faster than you can snitch your Quidditch, the flames are gonna be fanned again concerning the witch/warlock angle found in the H.P. stories. That's why I am calling for a boycott of the movies. Well, not all the movies everywhere, all the time; just the first showing at Tinselstown 17 on opening day. I have five people to get into the movie and I don't need the pressure of fighting a large crowd. I love a witch hunt, and this one looks to be a literal one. Somewhere in the mid-'80s when America lost its sense of humor (not coincidentally, the debut season of "Full House"!?) people seemed to start finding fault with every thing fun. The Harry Potter series has not been spared. As soon as the books became wildly popular, the attacks started. With the wizardry, warlock and witchcraft subject matter, people started raising red flags and concerns. Our children's minds are at stake! It seems like a trip to the reference section to look up the definition of "fiction" would help people out. I don't know a Hedwig from a Hagrid, but I know the stories aren't real and they simply written to excite the imaginations of children everywhere. I guess that is the problem. Some people must have a problem distinguishing between fact and fiction. So, in an effort to help people learn the difference and to have a little fun, here is a primer. Fact: Thousands laid off from Delta Airlines. Fiction: Dagwood Bumstead gets fired because his dog eats his boss's hat. Fact: Bill Gates unveils Windows XP. Fiction: Willy Wonka unveils Oompa Loompa. Fact: Rudy Giuliani is a real American hero. Fiction: Cow from "The Far Side" drives a tractor and plays chess. Fact: OJ is ruled innocent. Fiction: OJ is innocent. Fact: The Arizona Diamondbacks win the world series. Fiction: The Atlanta Braves, the finest team in baseball, are due to win it all next year. I totally believe in monitoring a child's input, whether it be books, TV, or movies, but we can go overboard in our quest to appear a little more pious. A good 20-minute discussion over the content of any of the Harry Potter books will suffice in keeping our children from joining Wicca or NOW. Nevertheless, you can bet your Nimbus 2000 that plenty will find their way to our local news stations, come opening day. I say Hogwarts to all of them, yet I still hope the brouhaha keeps the first showing sparse enough to accommodate my brood. [Visit Billy Murphy on the Internet at http://ebilly.net.]
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