Wednesday, March 14, 2001
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Wednesday, March 14, 2001 |
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Ain't it grand for raising kids By BILLY MURPHY All of us have lived the horror. Whether passing the offending forebear in the halls at work, the grocery store, or at church, we are stopped and held ransom while some grandparent shows us pictures of their grandkids. They flip open their wallets to let plastic-sleeved pictures unfold nearly down to the floor, going on about the exceptionality of their progeny. You feel your life flash before your very eyes (in real time) as the grandparent tells you about his or her "pride and joy." This is an old stereotype and hardly befitting of the 21st century grandparent. For all the granddads and grandmoms I know in the year 2001, they are the best thing since sliced bread. I think the pendulum has swung the other way and we are truly seeing a return to a different kind of "connected" family. I guess we can replace the outdated "nuclear" family with the new "Internet" family (do we have Al Gore to thank?). Today, our parents, the grandparents of our kids, are about more than just telling us how fat we have grown. Our mature nation has it all down. They have learned how to program their VCRs and answering machines. They have computers and cell phones. They have become vital in the lives of our children. That is my experience, at least, and my observation concerning families today. There are more and more grandparents moving geographically along with their children, staying close to provide support and assistance with the grand kids. And let's face it, they wouldn't be moving to be next to us, their kids. Though historically moms and pops have complained that their parents interfere too much and spoil the grandchildren, my experiences and discussions have shown quite the opposite. Between the boomers and gen-Xers, our older generation might be the most levelheaded of all. I never had a grandmother or grandfather myself. My dad's parents had died before I was born and my mom was from Germany, so it was hardly plausible to even see those grandparents, much less have any real relationship. The closest I ever felt to having a grandparent was my dad's older sister, my Aunt Maude. She made the greatest biscuits in the county. It was such a secure place to go and visit after shooting BB guns or playing games with cousins (I was from South Carolina, so they were kissing games, of course). My aunt Maude also handed out pearls of wisdom that have frightened me to this day. She said that if you missed church the bogeyman would get you. She also said that if you killed a mockingbird the bogeyman would get you. But, heck, I grew up in the '70s and thought the "boogie man" was this Travolta-like dancer in a white, polyester suit. That made me think my substitute grandma was, overall, pretty hip. I could swear I heard her humming "Stayin' Alive" once. All my kids have left now are a grandmother in Peachtree City and one in South Carolina. I am prejudiced, but I feel they are the luckiest in the world. As we see a swing in the economy and it makes us all reexamine what is really of value, I would hope that we all can see the importance of family and heritage and sentimentality and "connection" and a heck of a good baby-sitting service, too. [Visit Billy Murphy on the Internet at http://www.ebilly.net.]
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