Wednesday, March 7, 2001
|
Wednesday, March 7, 2001 |
|
Who is smarter, men or women? By BILLY MURPHY There are large questions in life, like, in the movies, if someone is carrying a bag of groceries, why will there always be a loaf of french bread sticking out? But, I am thinking a larger, more important a question here: Which is the smarter gender? Are women smarter? Are men smarter? Just by broaching this subject, I am probably making a case for women being the more intelligent of the sexes. Realistically, though, men are obviously the smarter of the two (OK, I just said this to stir things up a bit). Who is smarter, George W. or Janet Reno? Who is smarter Fred and Barney or Wilma and Betty? For every Madonna there is a Schwarzenegger. For every Puff Daddy there is a J. LO. For every Hillary, there is a Bill. I had a lady friend concede that men are smarter because she came to realize that she was married to a doctor (he's always got the medical advice), a scientist (he always seems to know how something works, 'cause they have a whole garage full of stuff that he's taken apart, and never put back together), an auto mechanic (complains about the repair bill and says he could have done it himself, which he never has), a comedian (because "he" thinks he is so funny) and a brain surgeon (because everyone else is so stupid). Both men and women do smart things. Both men and women do dumb things. Yet, who is smarter, who is dumber? Men never ask for directions. Women shave their legs. Men like tools. Women like shopping. Men make noises. Women "makeup." Men save pocket change. Women save coupons. Men like football. Women like foot rubs. Men carry the newspaper to the bathroom. Women carry their purse to the bathroom. Men think it is smart when they get someone to pull their finger. Women think it is smart when they hide the remote control. Men think it is smart to pour gasoline on the barbecue. Women think it is smart when they match their shoes and hat. In the men's "Smart Hall of Fame" we have Albert Einstein, Alexander Graham Bell, Ben Franklin and Joseph Palmslap, inventor of the clapper. In the women's "Smart Hall of Fame" we have Madame Curie, Florence Nightingale, Indira Ghandi and Debbie "Whiz Kid" Scholl, developer of the shoe that "looks like a pump but, feels like a sneaker." Typical nicknames for smart guys are Bill, Billy or William. Typical nicknames for dumb guys are Bruno, Goober or Regis. Typical nicknames for smart girls are B., Billie, or Williamena. Typical nicknames for dumb girls always end in "i," Loni, Candi, Debbi, et al. It is always evident that a child will grow up smart if it has a name that is taken from a classic novel. It is just as evident that a child will grow up dumb if it has a name that is taken from a Saturday morning cartoon. My cousin Scooby would agree. The debate over who is smarter will likely never end. I would say men are smarter. But then again, I am the guy who says that the Poochi Pet Robot is the greatest invention since the Pet Rock. So study guys and girls and be prepared and then you might be able to answer some of those other important questions like, "Who wrote the book on love?" [Visit Billy Murphy on the Internet at http://ebilly.net.]
|
||