Wednesday, October 11, 2000

In response to Dr. Moffatt's recent article on "good" and "bad" kids, I agree that we need to highlight the positive things our young people are doing and not the negative.

But maybe if we stopped labeling kids as "good" or "bad" based on their behavior, they wouldn't have to try so hard to live up to our expectations.

Children and teens will act out for a variety of reasons, none of which is because they are "bad." And many children are submissive and compliant, not because they are "good."

We all are "good" because we are loved and valued by God, and nothing we will ever do will change that. When children are discouraged, attention-seeking and extremely needy they will try to get what they need by any means possible. Positive attention or negative attention is still attention.

Maybe if we addressed the reasons why so many of our children are discouraged, attention-seeking and needy, we might eliminate a lot of the bad behavior. First and foremost, we should address our parenting skills and how we can learn ways to keep God's love for our children ever present in their lives.

Monica Drakes
Mother and facilitator of parenting workshops
Fayetteville

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