Wise men learn early to seek romance

Occasionally, albeit rarely, a man will ask me how to properly romance and court a woman.

These are wise men.

So far I have been unable, though, to put three of them together. That leaves me to think that those legendary three wise men were just another Biblical miracle.

“Listen, if y’all would just try a little romance from time to time, you’d rule,” I said to a guy the other day. He looked at me with a vacant look and just nodded. I knew I wasn’t getting through.

Still, I persevered.

“With just a little romance – it doesn’t take a lot – you could sweep any woman off her feet.” He nodded again and I gave up. As I have before with many guys.

Afterwards, I was thinking about it and I decided that it would only take one solidly strong romantic effort a month and every woman would be happy as a lark on a spring day. Brandon, a delightful young man, works for me on the weekends that he is home from college. He is strong, thoughtful, dependable and respectfully calls me, “Miss Ronda.”

One day when we were painting a guest bedroom, Brandon was talking about a girl he had dated. He was puzzled over how she had acted. From my position on the ladder, I stopped and pointed my paint brush at him.

“You know, you should let me train you in how to treat your girlfriends. You’re young enough that there’s still time to save you from romantic ruination. I’ll tell you what to do and you just do it.”

Suddenly, I was excited. It was a chance to mold a perfect romantic creature and present a perfect him to a new generation. My opportunity to create a masterpiece.

He frowned. “Well, I know what to do. I just don’t want to do it.”

Too late. The boy’s already ruined. He’s already been schooled by the other men who claim they know how to be romantic but they just don’t do it. I’m telling you – somehow we’ve got to stop this downward spiral by mankind.

I know – and you know if you read this column regularly – that I am often disappointed by the lack of romance in today’s men. But, in all fairness, I have seen some stellar efforts put forth by a few good men. The ones who have filled my car with gas and paid for it; the one who trailed behind me in the grocery store as I picked up a few things after a movie then insisted on paying for my coffee, milk and bread; the one who always remembers my favorite fragrance and sends it to me and the darling one who wrote that heart-touching poem about me for my last birthday.

There are still some romantic remnants in the world out there.

Here’s my all-time favorite: At a black-tie charity event, my date, Greg, was bidding on several silent auction items. I was bidding on a framed Thomas Kinkade print for Debbie’s birthday. Someone started bidding against me and ran the price up way over the worth so I dropped out and let the other bidder win.

At the end of the evening, Greg and a team of helpers packed the car with all the items he had purchased. He slid in the seat, looked over at me and snapped his fingers. “Wait here a second.”

When he returned a few minutes later, he was carrying the Kinkade print, a surprise for me. Though he knew that I wanted it for a gift and not for me, he had run the bidding up and paid several hundred dollars for it. My heart fell at his feet.

Come to think about it, I do know one wise man. Now, if I could just find two more.