Man’s best friend — Cats?

Have you noticed there are an awful lot of men who own cats now?

When did that start?

Did the feminist movement back-fire on us? I mean we all know the point of the movement was to take and not give. But it looks like men just got tired of us taking and taking, pushing our way onto their turf so, when we weren’t looking, they turned around on us and took something that belonged to exclusively to womanhood.

They took cats.

Here’s what I’m thinking: These guys one day just up and said, “Well, hmm! If those little short-skirt-high-heel-wearing misses are going to priss uninvited into our locker rooms, board rooms and executive wash rooms, we’re gonna get ‘em where it hurts. If they can play tough, we can play soft. We’ll move into their territory by owning cats.”

That was that. Our exclusive ownership of cats was over.

The guys who I know that own cats are fanatical about them. They treat them with more cooing and wooing than Dixie Dew will ever know. In fact, she would probably switch sides, too, if she had any idea of all the extreme adoring that is going on over on the male side with the cats.

I know one guy who walks his cat on a leash every day. Honest. Of course, he lives in New Orleans so the cat is probably descended from a companion to a voodoo queen or something. Which would obviously mean that that cat’s used to odd behavior.

I have another theory on why men are increasingly choosing cats as their household companions.

Cats are mysterious and aloof. Men like that. Which, of course, is what I’ve been telling women for years: play hard to get and you’ll get got. In the game of love, women would do well to act like cats. Men, as a general rule, really don’t like adulation and devotion like that which comes from dogs. They like to prowl after aloof, uninterested creatures.

They like women who, like cats, will sit across the room and act bored and unimpressed. The trouble is that women like to be treated like dogs treat us. Dogs are adoring and attentive. Wherever I am, Dixie Dew is sitting as close as possible – if not on my lap – with her head resting on me, looking up with the most admiring of looks.

Since we like this, we figure men want us to treat them that way.

Wrong.

My point is adequately proven by the growing number of male cat owners. Men want to be treated in a blasé, bored manner. Ignoring is preferred over adoring.

I’m not sure, though, what the cats think about all of this. It must be an unsettling proposition for them. Without question, it must be a difficult transition to go from feminine cooing to masculine booing. Instead of hearing, “You sweet darling kitten. Are you ready for your dinner, precious?” the felines must hear, “You idiotic referee! What are you thinking? Get yourself a real job!”

And what about dogs? This must be frightfully, almost inhumanely hard on them.

After all, it must be terribly upsetting to discover that you are no longer man’s best friend. And, to learn you’ve been outdone by your worse enemy must be pain beyond compare.

It certainly gives new meaning to being treated like a dog.