#1 Southern women’s rule for Easter

In the South, Easter is as big a holiday as Christmas. And, we all know that Southern women spend months getting ready for Christmas.

One December while I was working out at the gym, a transplanted Californian approached me with a big grin.

“Are you – as they say here in the South – ready for Christmas?” His grin grew broader.

Puzzled, I looked at him. Californians, you should know if you don’t already, often speak a different language than other Americans. They are non-conformists who are proud of their individuality.

That, of course, is different from the South where we believe in unity in behavior and tradition. Too much individuality isn’t recommended here. In other words, don’t roast a turkey for Easter lunch when everyone knows that ham is to be placed front and center on a pastel-colored tablecloth.

I shook my head. “What are you talking about?”

He started laughing in that mocking way that Southerners know too intimately. “You Southerners always ask if someone’s ready for Christmas. I never heard that expression until I moved here.”

Well, there you have it. We Southerners know it’s a big deal to get ready perfectly for Christmas so we’re concerned if others are making it to that point. Easter, though, is just as big a deal.

Except for Easter, women ask, “Have you got your Easter outfit yet?”

In my family, this begins eight weeks before Easter and the pressure mounts significantly as the big day arrives. My godmother asked me six weeks ago, “Do you know yet what you’re wearing for Easter?”

Of course, this comes from the woman who spent the first 12 years of my life shopping prodigiously for the right Easter attire for me.

She would bring home boxes of clothes on approval, have me try each outfit on and then judiciously pick the perfect one. It always included new patent leather shoes – sometimes black or white but often in a wonderful color like red or yellow – hat, purse, lace-trimmed socks and panties, layers of petticoats, and, yes, little white gloves.

Mama swears that it was Mary Nell who spoiled me into a fashion-conscious 6-year-old. There is such a high expectation from Mary Nell, especially for Easter, that when she inquires as to what I’ll be wearing, I fidget nervously if I don’t have the answer.

“I don’t know,” I admitted, wringing my hands. “I haven’t found anything yet.”

“Hmmm,” she replied, disapproval resounding loudly in her voice.

A few days later, Mama complimented me on a lilac-colored outfit – with matching shoes and purse – that I wore to church.

“That is one of the prettiest outfits I’ve ever seen you wear,” she commented.

“Thanks. I got it in New York a while back. If I don’t find anything else, I’m wearing it for Easter. I bought a hat in Baton Rouge that will match it beautifully.”

Mama’s eyes popped open widely in horror. “You can’t wear that for Easter! You’ve already worn it! If you were going to wear it for Easter, you should have saved it.”

She’s right. That’s the Number One Easter rule for Southern women. You can’t wear something you’ve already worn.

I have the answer, though.

I’m only going to sunrise service this year, no late morning church. I figure that at 6 o’clock in the morning, everyone will be too sleepy to realize I’m wearing an outfit I’ve worn previously.

I may even take my dog, Dixie Dew, with me as a distraction. After all, she has a new Easter outfit. And, she has never worn hers in public before.

She’s the perfect Southern girl.