Celebrating the first 50 years

The idea for an informal Golden Anniversary reception came from one I attended last May, when the daughters of Etta and Ro Schlobohm put on a really sweet celebration of their parents’ Big 5-0.

There were lovely finger foods and punch, plus the wedding cake (an accurate replica of the original) on its original stand, topped by a little bridal couple.

Everything was just right for a 1955 wedding, including a CD display of photos from their childhood up to the births of their own babies and then grandbabies. When I got there, one of those granddaughters was wearing Etta’s wedding gown, and it looked perfect on her, with no alterations.

Which is sort of remarkable because Etta’s just a little bit of a thing, not nearly as tall as her granddaughter.

What impressed me most was that their invitations were mostly scattered hither and thither by means of church announcements and by word of mouth. People came. The house and wooden deck were full of friends and family, despite occasional showers, all managing to keep their champagne from tipping onto nearby suits and dresses.

Ro’s career took his family to several continents and everywhere they went, they left friends behind them. They have friends everywhere, friends who love them enough to travel vast distances to wish them well.

I most enjoyed my conversation with a family from Amsterdam, and then there was the former colleague from Japan. He had flown in on Saturday, attended the reception Sunday afternoon, and would catch a plane that evening in order to get back by Tuesday latest.

I got to thinking that this was exactly how I’d like to celebrate our upcoming 50th. Our house is much smaller than Schlobohms’, so I booked the church Fellowship Hall. Our daughters could not possibly put this on for us. It’s the height of the opera season for Mary in Germany, and Jean in Virginia has a tot plus a new baby.

I mentioned this to friends from our small group at church and asked if they would help me. Should have known better. They love parties and planning them, and mine was soon snatched out of my grip. I have no idea what is in store for us.

When I told one of them I wanted to pay for whatever costs they encountered, I was chastised by a glance and a rebuke: “This is family. You don’t pay family.”

So, all right, I hope well-wishers would wish us well without gifts. At our time in life we’re getting rid of stuff and do not want to add more.

Still, for each other, gifts are required. Neither of us would presume what the other would like (read: Dave and I have really different tastes in…well, most things), so we went shopping together. I think we were in every jeweler’s store in Fayette County.

It didn’t take long for Dave to find a “dressy” watch for himself, but the gold chain and diamond I lost last fall can’t be duplicated because of its long history around my neck. I still think it will suddenly turn up, but it hasn’t. I really miss it. But since Dave wanted to buy me a new one, I’ll let him.

What we saw in the stores gave me severe sticker shock. Dave made it clear right away that he wanted to give me something special and that I should quit fussing about how much it cost. I’ll try. Really, I will.

I guess the simplicity of our wedding was caused by that same spending-resistant gene. I hated the thought of my hard-working Daddy shelling out hundreds for his little girl’s wedding. (Yes, hundreds – this was 1956, you know.) Hence: one attendant, few flowers, a relatively inexpensive dress, a friend singing “The Lord’s Prayer” and “Ich Liebe Dich,” and no reception, just a dinner for the families and the wedding party.

The “reception committee” asked me so many questions: Did I have a “topper” on my wedding cake? I don’t even remember that we had a cake. We’re talking 50 years here, remember?

Yes, they got back to me, I did have a topper. A little bride and groom appear in one of the very few snapshots taken that day. I didn’t remember.

Do I still have my wedding dress? Sure, but I’d have to look for it.. I wore it twice, once for the wedding and, a year later, in a photographer’s studio. For some reason, it was put away without being cleaned.

When I priced cleaning it here, I had sticker shock relapse. A hundred fifty dollars to clean a “tea length” dress? No way am I paying three times the cost of the dress itself. Shopped around, and glad I did. It will cost me $25.

What kind of flowers did I carry? I don’t remember – oh, wait, I bet it was daisies and yellow rosebuds. The first corsage I ever had was from my Dad for a piano recital, and it was daises and yellow rosebuds. I loved it so much, I think I ordered the same for my wedding.

An old clipping confirms that I carried yellow rosebuds and white carnations.

You’re invited. Saturday, 2 to 4 p.m., at Christ Our Shepherd Lutheran Church. Come wish us well as we start our second half century, especially if you too have reached this milestone.

Bought a calendar last week – on sale almost three months into the year. For March, a vase of flowers, and an ironic quotation: “I’d rather have roses on my table than diamonds on my neck.”

Oh, I don't know. I believe I’ll have both.